Plans Change
by 2good2betrue
Summary: Ross and Rachel's conversation in the hallway in The One With The Fake Party brings old feelings to the surface. Plans Change, could their hearts change too? Please Read & Review.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello! I'm back with a new story!**

**Summary: Ross and Rachel's conversation in the hallway in The One With The Fake Party brings old feelings to the surface. Plans Change, could their hearts change too? This is going to be a Ross and Rachel story but the other characters will be in it as well.**

**I don't know if anyone else is having the same problem as me with fanfiction, my story stats won't show up, so ****PLEASE**** leave me a review if you like this chapter because I want to know people are reading.**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends and the lines from the show do not belong to me.**

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><p>Ross sat on the step outside the door of apartment 20; the Bon Voyage party was still going on for Emily. <em>This night couldn't be worse <em>Ross thought to himself as he took a slow sip from the bottle of beer in his hand. He had the perfect night planned for him and Emily, and now his plans were ruined by Rachel throwing a fake party in order to seduce Joshua.

Suddenly the door to the apartment opened and Rachel walked out, still in her cheerleading outfit. Ross looked up at her with a miserable expression on his face.

"Oh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshua's gone so you and Emily are free to go," Rachel said with a lisp, due to her swollen lip.

"That's okay. She's still in there enjoying her fake party and uh, it's too late to do any of the things I had planned, so…" Ross replied unenthusiastically.

"Oh, Ross, I'm sorry. I completely ruined your evening," Rachel said sadly, as she looked at the ground.

"Yeah," Ross responded, slightly angry.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself," Rachel chuckled realizing how reckless she had acted. She leaned against the doorway.

"Helps a little," Ross replied, somewhat cheerfully.

"Is there room on that step for a pathetic loser?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, have a seat," Ross said softly. He moved over on the step to make room for her to sit. Rachel carefully sat down beside him and paused a moment. She knew she had really hurt Ross' feelings; he wouldn't look her in the eye.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel said sincerely, breaking the awkward silence that had developed between them.

"That's okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didn't want it to end this way, you know?" Ross said, trying hard to forgive her, but he was still upset.

"Well, maybe you didn't want it to end?" Rachel realized out loud.

"What do you mean?" Ross asked, confused.

"You seem to really like her," Rachel explained softly, noticing it herself. Ross paused for a moment; he and Rachel hadn't ever had a deep conversation about their feelings for other people. Was she actually encouraging him to move on?

"Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I going to do, I mean we both agreed that it was going to be a two-week thing, you know, no commitment," Ross said, before taking another sip of beer.

"Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica's photo albums, I mean you don't do that if you're just in it for two weeks," Rachel replied. She was putting on a brave face, but on the inside that fact really hurt her.

"You think?" Ross said. He still couldn't believe these words were coming from Rachel.

"Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and you're sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip," Rachel said, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere by making fun of herself.

"Hey, you're right," Ross replied. He stood up but paused to look down at Rachel. She looked a little troubled. "Are you okay?" Ross asked without thinking.

"You mean my lip? Yeah I'm fine," Rachel said, as she gently put her icepack on her swollen mouth.

"No, I mean about this whole Emily situation," Ross said timidly. Rachel considered his question for a minute. She slowly stood up and locked eyes with him. Ross followed her eyes with his own as she rose from the step. He searched her eyes for any hints to her answer.

The way Rachel was looking at him, at that moment, stirred something inside him. It brought back an emotion he had pushed to the back of his mind for a while. For a second he couldn't remember why they weren't together; he was lost in her deep blue eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it," Rachel replied uncomfortably, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I mean I have Joshua now, well kind of…" Rachel said with a small laugh, but she quickly became serious. "Plans change," she stated quietly. She looked down at the floor so Ross couldn't see the hurt in her eyes.

Ross nodded. As he observed Rachel's expression he noticed something about her was different from when he began talking to her before. She almost looked hurt, not physically but emotionally. Ross couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or not.

Ross stood there uneasily before he decided he had better return to Emily.

"I'd better go…" Ross stated slowly. Rachel snapped out of her trance and looked up at him.

"Bye Ross," Rachel whispered. Ross took a step closer and debated whether or not to give her a hug. They were friends after all, why were things so awkward between them?

Ross hugged her anyways; his arms wrapped her in a gentle embrace. Rachel gently placed her hands on his back as she rested her head against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and she wondered if he could hear hers, which had sped up. Rachel didn't know why this felt like a departure.

Ross eventually let go of her and gave her a shy smile before he headed back into the apartment.

Rachel slowly returned to the step wondering if telling Ross to go for Emily was such a good idea. Rachel wasn't entirely sure if she was completely over him. She remembered back to a time a few weeks ago in Central Perk.

"_Emily is…incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. Oh! And you! Rach!" Ross said excitedly as Rachel entered from the bathroom._

"_Oh, hey!" Rachel said. _

"_Hey! You were so right!" Ross exclaimed, approaching her._

"_What?" Rachel said, confused._

"_Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other," Ross explained. Rachel remembered saying that. But, now she realized she regretted it._

"_Oh, hmm," was all Rachel could respond._

"_I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasn't quite there. Y'know, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy…" Ross explained._

"_Joshua," Rachel corrected. _

"_Joshua…guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda…y'know," Ross said._

"_Yeah, I…" Rachel tried to say._

"_But now! I'm there! I'm totally there! I'm-I'm finally where you are!" Ross said enthusiastically._

"_Oh, thank goodness!" Rachel decided to reply._

When Ross had brought up them being happy for each other Rachel was taken aback. They had, shockingly, switched roles: Rachel was now the one trying to move on, but not wanting to, and Ross was the one that had found someone else.

That day in the coffee house Rachel was about to tell Ross that she was jealous of him going to Vermont with Emily, but then he interrupted her. She decided not to tell him because he expressed that he was over her. He was so happy, Rachel didn't want to ruin that.

As Rachel sat on the cold step she remembered the night she tried to get into Joshua's club. After that night she had been thinking that this whole Joshua relationship was not really what she wanted. At first she did want to be with Joshua. But now she thought maybe that whole club incident was a sign that they weren't meant to be together after all.

Those same feelings came back after this conversation in the hallway. Rachel realized that it felt like Ross was leaving because he was moving on from any chance at fixing their relationship. He was leaving her, in a way, by moving on.

Rachel decided that she did regret telling him to go for Emily, in fact she regretted ever setting them up in the first place. Before long, Rachel's thoughts were interrupted by Chandler entering the hall. He noticed Rachel's distressed expression.

"Rach, are you alright? You look upset," Chandler asked, concerned. He sat on the step beside Rachel.

"I was just thinking that maybe I'm trying to get into a relationship with Joshua for the wrong reasons. In the beginning it was just because he was cute and then because I'm jealous that Ross is happy with someone else. I just want some comfort," Rachel said. But before Chandler could respond someone came up the staircase. Rachel and Chandler turned their heads to see Joshua.

"Joshua," Rachel said, surprized. She stood up from the step.

"All those things I said about not being ready… I want to take them back," Joshua confessed. "I really do like you Rachel."

Rachel pondered her choices for a moment. She could either talk to Ross about her recently discovered feelings or try to move on with Joshua. She came to the conclusion that Ross had moved on so maybe she should find a way to move on too.

"Do you want to come in for some coffee?" Rachel asked.

"Sure," Joshua replied. Rachel led him into apartment 19 so they could be alone.

…..

Ross entered his sister's apartment to find Emily looking at another photo album. Ross crossed the apartment to stand behind the chair where Emily was sitting. He noticed it was an album with pictures of his and Monica's high school years. One of the pictures on that page stood out to him, it was of him, Monica and Rachel.

In the picture they were in Monica and Ross' backyard on a summer day. Rachel was smiling into the camera as Ross stood beside her making bunny ears with his fingers over Monica's head. Ross smiled at the memory. That was the summer he had seen Rachel in a bikini for the first time and his crush on her multiplied.

A few moments later Chandler walked into the apartment alone.

"Where's Rachel?" Ross asked.

"Joshua came back and then she took him back into the other apartment," Chandler replied. Ross got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. The thought of Rachel and Joshua together made him jealous again, but why? He was with Emily now. Rachel was free to do what she pleased.

As he thought of Rachel the conversation they had had in the hallway went through Ross' mind. He remembered a certain phrase she had said that puzzled him.

_Plans change._

What did she mean by that?

Ross didn't have much time to deliberate because soon Emily was standing beside him. He was pulled out of his blank stare by her voice.

"Is something wrong?" Emily asked, wondering why Ross was acting so strange.

"No, nothing's wrong…" Ross replied. "Want to get going?"

"Sure," Emily responded. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug. Ross distractedly kissed her on the head. When they parted she watched him, what was on his mind? Emily turned away from him and headed to the bedroom to get her jacket.

"What's really wrong?" Phoebe asked as she approached Ross.

"Really, nothing's wrong," Ross replied defensively. But he knew that something was wrong, he hadn't felt like this in a long time. Ross felt like he did before his and Rachel's relationship began, jealous that she didn't want to be with him.

But Ross had no idea that on the other side of the hallway Rachel couldn't stop thinking of him. She and Joshua were sitting on the couch talking and drinking coffee, when Joshua reached out and held her hand in his.

Rachel let him hold her hand but deep down this still didn't feel right. But she was encouraged to continue by a familiar voice in her head. _But now! I'm there! I'm totally there! I'm-I'm finally where you are! _

_I'm finally where you are._

The only problem was Rachel didn't quite know where she was.

…..

Ross glanced at the door, and sighed slightly. Phoebe noticed this and put two and two together.

"Is it to do with Rachel?" Phoebe asked pointing at the door. But, knowing Ross, even if it was about Rachel he wouldn't tell her.

"No," Ross said quickly. "I'm over Rachel and obviously she's over me, because she went into the apartment with Joshua. Why would I have her on my mind?" Ross said. He tried to his best to sound convincing.

"Okay, calm down. It was just an idea," Phoebe replied, putting her hands up in surrender.

Phoebe quickly dropped the subject of finding out what was on her friend's mind. The only thing was, Ross was easy to read. Phoebe could tell that he still had feelings for Rachel. He had always worn his heart on his sleeve, and the way he was looking at the door proved her suspicions. Ross was still in love.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the reviews!**

**For some reason my Story Stats still aren't working, so I still don't know if anyone is reading this! **

**Please leave a review, even if it's short, just so I know people are reading. Thank you :) **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>Ross stood in the middle of an exhibit he was setting up at the Museum of Natural History. He had had a very long day but he needed to finish assembling this Stone Age display, it was getting quite late. Ross was moving a fake rock into position when one of his colleagues walked in.<p>

"Dr. Geller, George told me to give this to you to put in this exhibit," Ross' co-worker said. The short, balding man stood there in his white lab coat with a black, faux fur rug in his hands. Ross took the rug from his colleague. As he ran a hand over it he got caught in a daydream. The man decided Ross was acting odd and quickly left.

As Ross held the rug he recalled the time he had taken Rachel to the museum a couple of years ago. He couldn't get the feeling of the first time they had made love, on a rug just like this one, out of his thoughts. Lately everything Ross did reminded him of Rachel, he couldn't get her off his mind.

Ross had continued to date Emily which had turned out to be a decent relationship. He and Emily were having a lot of fun together, but it was a complicated relationship as well. Emily still lived in England and flew out to New York every few days to see Ross. Emily provided the love and attention he needed as he got over the fact that he and Rachel would never be together again.

Even though Ross knew this relationship with Emily was complex he decided he was doing the right thing: he was trying his best to move on. Getting over Rachel was turning out to be much harder than he had anticipated, but she was with Joshua now, he knew he had to forget about her.

Ross ran his hands through the shaggy fabric as he pondered why all of a sudden the ending of his relationship with Rachel was bothering him. A few weeks ago, when he and Emily began dating, he had moved on from Rachel. He was in a place where he could be happy that she had found someone else, because he had found someone else as well.

It was that conversation from a few weeks ago that was resistant to fade from his memory. Rachel's expression, her encouragement and her words did not sit well with him.

Suddenly there was a tap on the glass. Ross looked up to see Emily, which snapped him out of his thoughts. He saw how happy she was to see him and promised himself to stop thinking about Rachel; that relationship was over. He told himself he had to move on and just make dating Emily work, because Rachel had surely forgotten about him.

…..

Rachel returned home from work to find her answering machine blinking that there was a new message. Rachel put her purse on the counter and then she hit the play button on the machine.

"_Hi Rachel, it's Joshua. We need to talk, so meet me at Central Perk at 6. See you,"_ Joshua's voice said in the message. Rachel turned around and left the apartment, it was 5:51 already.

As Rachel walked down the stairs in her apartment building she became very nervous. Whenever someone says "we need to talk" it's usually not a good sign.

Rachel reached the doors of the coffee house and walked inside. She spotted Joshua right away; he was sitting on the orange couch drinking a cup of coffee. Rachel took a deep breath to try and calm down before walking around the couch to sit next to her boyfriend.

"Hey," Rachel said timidly, as she sat down on the soft couch cushion.

"Hi Rachel," Joshua greeted. He quickly gave her a peck on the lips.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" Rachel asked, bursting with anticipation. She played with a strand of her hair nervously. They had only been dating for a few weeks; did he want to break up? Joshua put his mug down on the coffee table and gently took both of Rachel's hands in his.

"I wanted to tell you that I like where our relationship is going… and I know it might be a little fast, since we've only been dating for a little over a month, but I wanted to ask if you would like to move in with me," Joshua said softly. Rachel was shocked, she was preparing for the worst.

However, was moving in with Joshua too soon? Then a thought crossed her mind: Could she forget about her feelings for Ross? Living with Joshua meant that this was a committed, serious relationship. She didn't know how she felt yet; maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Having said that, the same thought came to mind that had motivated her to begin dating Joshua: Ross had moved on and she had to too. In fact Ross was in a serious relationship, she felt like she should be in one as well. She had to prove to him that she was over him, they had to be equal.

"I'd love to live with you Joshua!" Rachel exclaimed as she pulled him into a hug. As she looked over his shoulder, out the window, she noticed Ross and Emily walking towards Central Perk. Ross must have just finished work, she thought, he was carrying a black briefcase. She pulled out of the hug and linked her fingers with Joshua's.

Ross and Emily walked in the double doors. Emily held onto his arm as they walked in. Ross saw Rachel and Joshua, so he led Emily over to them.

"Hi, you two!" Rachel greeted, beaming at them.

"Hi," Ross and Emily both replied. Ross sat down in the green chair and Emily sat on the arm of the chair.

"What's new?" Ross questioned. Rachel looked at Joshua and he gave her a slight nod.

"Well… Joshua and I are going to move in together!" Rachel said excitedly.

A pang of sadness rippled through Ross. She was moving in with him? So soon?

"That's great, congratulations," Ross answered trying to do his best to fake happiness. "If you want any help moving your things…" Ross continued, trying his best to be nice. _I have to let her move on, she's happy_, he said to himself to stop from revealing how much he disliked this idea.

"That would be very helpful. Thank you," Rachel said. It hurt Rachel to see that Ross wasn't saddened by their news. He really must have forgotten about her, normally he would be jealous.

If only she knew the thoughts that were going through his head.

…..

A few days later…

All of the friends helped Rachel move her things from her apartment to Joshua's. Everyone helped move boxes except for Phoebe, who was pregnant. Phoebe took over the job of supervisor, telling people where to put things. Even Emily helped out by carrying some boxes.

Rachel and Joshua's new apartment wasn't too far away, which meant they could all continue to spend time together at Central Perk and Monica's apartment.

Ross decided to carry two boxes at a time up the stairs to make this process faster. The less time he spent here the better. He still wasn't comfortable with this situation. The thought of Rachel and Joshua living in the same apartment, sharing the same bed made him upset. He wanted to be happy for them, but there was always a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him this is what he could have had with Rachel.

Ross could barely see where he was going, but he made it safely up the staircase to the apartment on the fifth floor. Phoebe took a look at the boxes and read that they were labeled bedroom.

Ross walked into what would now be Rachel and Joshua's bedroom. As he ambled towards the closet he hit his shin on a wooden chest at the end of the bed. The top box, which he had been balancing on the other, slid off and landed at his feet on the floor.

Ross sighed in frustration. Then he put the second box down on the bed and rubbed his, certainly bruised, shin. After the stinging in his leg subsided he got on his knees. He flipped the box off its side so it was upright again and put the spilled contents of the box back in it. This uncovered what looked like a t-shirt.

He unfolded it and recognised it as his old "Frankie Says Relax" shirt. Ross held the shirt up wondering why Rachel still had it. Without warning a few crumpled papers and an envelope fell out of the folded shirt. Ross looked closer and saw the envelope had his name on the front.

Ross was too curious and decided to open it. He skimmed over it and then he looked at the other papers. The page in the envelope was a final copy of an unsent letter, intended to go to him. He guessed the crumpled papers were rough drafts. Before he could read them he heard footsteps coming towards the bedroom.

Ross hastily put the shirt and rough drafts of the letter back into the box, but he shoved the letter in the envelope into his pocket. He needed to know what it said. He came to the conclusion that he would read it and then return it to Rachel. She would never know it was missing; all the other letters were still there, she wouldn't notice.

"Ross what's taking you so long?" Monica asked, an annoyed tone to her voice. She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"I dropped a box after I hit my leg on there," Ross said pointing to the chest that had bruised his shin.

"Well, now we're behind schedule. According to my plan we should have all the boxes upstairs by now. Now hurry up and go back downstairs to grab some more boxes," Monica instructed. Ross rolled his eyes at Monica being… Monica.

…..

It was getting late but, everything was finally unpacked and in its place. The friends began to leave Rachel and Joshua's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe had already left; Ross stood in the doorway as Emily put on her coat.

"Ross, Emily, thanks for helping out tonight," Joshua said, uncomfortably trying to make small talk. Rachel was in the bedroom which meant Joshua had to, awkwardly, say goodbye to Ross and Emily. He didn't know Rachel's friends very well, making this conversation unnerving.

"Anytime," was all Ross replied. Joshua got the impression that Ross was not very fond of him. But soon he thought of an idea that might get him on Ross' good side.

"I've been thinking… why don't we go on a double date sometime? It would be fun for me and Rachel to spend time with another couple. What do you think?" Joshua asked apprehensively.

Rachel entered the living room from her bedroom after hearing everything Joshua had said. She went and stood by Joshua's side, wondering what Ross' answer would be.

Ross thought for a moment. He looked quickly at Rachel, and then back at the floor. The way Joshua was now wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulders made him jealous. Maybe spending time seeing how happy she was with Joshua would help him get over her. He made an impulsive decision.

"That sounds like fun," Ross replied, and then he turned to Emily. "What do you think?"

"I'd love to spend time with you guys," Emily responded, biting her tongue. She didn't like Rachel very much, but she knew she should make an effort for Ross.

"How about next weekend?" Joshua suggested.

"Sure… anyways we'd better get going…" Ross said.

"Okay, see you later," Joshua replied. He extended his hand for both Ross and Emily to shake. Emily turned and walked out the door, ignoring Rachel's outstretched hand. Ross debated whether or not to hug Rachel. Deciding it wasn't a good idea he shook her hand, uncomfortably. Then he followed Emily out the door.

As Ross and Emily walked down the hallway, hand in hand, he wondered if he had made the right choice. This double date was going to be strange with the way Emily was acting towards Rachel, and the fact that he had never been on a double date with Rachel where they were just friends.

But, Ross knew that if he rejected the offer it wouldn't be moving on, would it? He had no choice, but to go on this date and prove to Rachel he had moved on.

…..

The next day Rachel stopped by the coffee house. She spotted Monica and Phoebe inside and was glad they were there; she needed to talk to someone.

"Hey Rach," Monica greeted as Rachel sat on the orange couch between her two best friends.

"You don't look good, is something wrong? Is it about living with Joshua?" Phoebe asked.

"No I like living with Joshua so far. It's just… last night, after you guys left, Ross and Emily stayed behind for a few minutes. When I was out of the room Joshua asked them if they wanted to go on a double date with us. I just don't know if I'm okay with this," Rachel explained.

"I think it's a bad idea," Monica said, concerned. "You and Ross are just getting used to dating other people, I think it's too soon."

"I don't think it will be bad," Phoebe said, Monica shot her an angry glare, but Phoebe ignored her. "You and Ross are friends. Didn't you agree to be happy for each other? He's moved on and you've moved on, you're over him aren't you?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered quickly. "I guess it shouldn't be a problem."

"Then there's your answer. It's nothing to worry about," Phoebe said, enthusiastically.

Phoebe was jumping for joy on the inside. She could tell that Rachel still liked Ross. The look in her eyes and her quick answer gave her away.

Phoebe remembered back to the night of Emily's fake party where Ross glanced longingly at the door. Not to mention how he became defensive when she asked about Rachel, the same way Rachel had become defensive a second ago. She knew Ross was still in love and now she knew Rachel was too.

Maybe this date would be good for them. Ross and Rachel would feel jealous of each other and eventually one of them would let their feelings slip. Soon her lobsters would be back together, she could just feel it.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I want to give a big thank you to everyone who reviewed! **

**Please leave me a review after this chapter; I really love to hear what you think! :)**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p><em>Ross,<em>

_Before I continue I first want to let you know that I never intended to express these thoughts in a letter. But, it's just too hard to find the right time to tell you these things._

_I just feel so confused._

_When I see you with Emily it hurts me. Sometimes I wish I had never set you up with her, but on the other hand I can't bring myself to admitting I want to get back together._

_I know we've argued about it many times, but, I still can't forgive you for what you did to me. The pain and suffering I went through trying to get over you was so hard. Then I found Joshua._

_Sometimes when I'm with him all my other relationships go away, but most of the time I just find myself comparing him to you. I think I might still love you, only I don't want to. We are great friends, but we were also a great couple._

_That day in the coffee house when you said you were having a hard time accepting me being with Joshua, that's how I feel about you and Emily. I would have told you that then, but you said you were finally in a place where we could be happy for each other. _

_I just want to be there too, I want to move on and be happy for you. But I also don't want to move on at the same time._

_I don't know why I want you to know all this; I debated a lot about sending this letter. I don't know if this note will change anything, I just wanted to tell you how I feel before we move on and forget about the good times we had together._

_I miss you._

_-Rachel_

Ross held the wrinkled letter in his shaking hands. He couldn't believe what he had just read. All this time he thought Rachel had moved on without any regrets, but now he knew she was just as confused as he was.

The only thing was that he couldn't go talk face to face with Rachel. She obviously didn't send this letter for a reason. Was it because she changed her mind about her feelings?

Ross had no idea she felt this way the whole time. Could he really just act like he had never read this?

Then it hit him, his double date with Rachel and Joshua was in a little while. He had to be careful to keep this letter a secret. Who knows what Rachel would do if she found out he took it.

A knock on his bedroom door made him jump. Knowing it was Emily, Ross quickly shoved the letter into one of his desk drawers to hide it from her sight.

"Come in," Ross called towards the door. Emily entered dressed in a navy blue dress and strappy heels, hair and makeup done. Emily gave Ross an icy glare as she crossed her arms.

"First you convince me to go to this dinner and now you're not even ready?" Emily said bitterly.

"I'll be done in a minute. I'm sorry… I lost track of time," Ross answered as he stood up from his desk chair and walked quickly to his closet.

Ross changed into a grey suit. His stomach was in a knot as it got closer and closer to the time they had to leave. This evening was not going to be fun; it was going to be very awkward. Ross knew he had to act normal. He had made a decision: Rachel had not sent the letter, therefore; she must have must not feel like that anymore.

…..

Ross and Emily arrived at the upscale restaurant and followed the maître d to their table. They sat down on one side of a table to wait for Rachel and Joshua.

As they sat there Ross took in his surroundings. The restaurant was filled with the low murmur of people talking and soft classical music coming from hidden speakers. The room had small chandeliers over the tables, and sconces on the walls. The lights softly illuminated the dark yellow walls, giving the restaurant an intimate feel.

Ross couldn't stop glancing at the door, waiting for Rachel. He was so anxious about this night, he was actually sweating. He tried to look away from the door but his eyes kept finding their way back to it.

He looked at the entrance again and finally saw Rachel and Joshua arriving. Ross couldn't take his eyes off of Rachel as she walked in. She looked stunning in her elegant red dress and stiletto heels. Joshua looked tense as he led Rachel to the table with a hand on the small of her back. They all exchanged greetings as Rachel and Joshua took their seats.

…..

The four were sitting and waiting for their entrees and they had, miraculously, run out of things to talk about.

Emily and Joshua were not saying much, and any topics Ross and Rachel could think of involved discussing relationships. Both Rachel and Ross knew that would be torture.

All Ross had been doing all night was looking at Rachel, secretively of course. Every so often he would glance up at her to catch a glimpse of her angelic face. He wondered if she still felt the feelings she had described in her letter.

What Ross didn't know was the internal conflict Rachel was having with herself. On one hand she was completely happy sitting beside Joshua, knowing she was doing the right thing and moving on. But on the other hand seeing Ross with Emily brought forward feelings of jealousy.

Ross took another quick glance at Rachel just as she looked at him. They locked eyes for a moment and noticed each other's expressions. Rachel was confused by Ross' troubled and questioning appearance. He looked like he had a lot on his mind.

What neither Ross nor Rachel knew was that Emily was watching the whole thing. She observed Ross and Rachel's continuous effort to steal timid glimpses at each other. She was worried something was happening between them.

Emily had always been curious about Ross and Rachel's relationship. Ross had told her they used to date but he didn't tell her anything else. At first Emily thought he didn't want to talk about it because he was trying to forget about her, but now she had a feeling he didn't want to talk about it because it hurt.

Without warning, the waiter arrived carrying their plates of food.

…..

Rachel realized that when she had locked eyes with Ross she might have just hurt her chances of making him believe she was over him. Rachel decided she needed to do some damage control.

"Joshua, you have to try this. It's amazing," Rachel exclaimed, breaking the awkward silence. She cut a piece of her chicken and held it out on her fork for Joshua. She smiled lovingly at her boyfriend as he chewed.

When he was done chewing Rachel leaned over the distance between their chairs and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

Ross watched Rachel interact with Joshua and he couldn't help but remember what it was like to date Rachel. It used to be him taking her out to expensive restaurants, it used to be him receiving her warm loving smile and tender kisses, why did things have to be so different with Emily? He missed being with Rachel.

Emily just wasn't the same. When she smiled at him he didn't feel his heart skip a beat like it did for Rachel. When Emily kissed him there wasn't the same electricity he felt when Rachel kissed him.

Emily noticed the way Ross reacted to Rachel and Joshua. Ross was never good at hiding his feelings, meaning Emily could tell he was upset. She hated seeing him so afflicted by this other woman. She was envious that Ross was paying so much attention to her.

Emily reached across the table and took Ross' hand in hers. Ross took his eyes off of Rachel to look at Emily. He became aware of the worried look in her eyes. Did she notice how he kept gazing at Rachel?

To reassure her that nothing was wrong, Ross brought her hand to his lips to kiss the back of her hand softly. Emily smiled slightly, feeling relieved that Ross was still acting somewhat normal towards her.

…..

The four were almost finished their meal when Joshua's phone began to ring.

"I'm sorry I have to take this call," Joshua said, apologetically. He stood up from the table and walked towards the front doors of the restaurant, wanting better cellphone reception.

The three sat there for a few moments. Rachel was getting extremely uncomfortable.

"I have to use the washroom, I'll be right back," Rachel used as an excuse to leave. She quickly stood up from the table, grabbing her purse. Ross watched her walk away.

Emily noticed Ross' gawking and decided to do something about it. She had to find a way to make Rachel sure that Ross had moved on. That way Rachel wouldn't get any ideas in her head that she could just take Ross back when she was done with her boyfriend.

A few minutes later Emily noticed Rachel walking back to the table. Emily turned to Ross.

"So Ross, remember what you said to me the other day?" Emily asked when Rachel was within hearing distance. Ross stared at Emily, confused. "Remember when you said you loved me and I said I wasn't quite there yet? Well I just want to tell you I'm there, I love you."

Rachel froze in place. Ross had told Emily he loved her? How could this be? They had only been going out for a little while. Rachel felt like running out of the restaurant, but she knew she had to be strong. They broke up; he was free to do what he wanted.

Ross was about to respond, when Rachel returned to the table. He hoped she hadn't just heard what Emily had said, because, if she did still have feelings for him, they were probably gone after that.

It was true, Ross had told Emily he loved her, but that was before he read Rachel's letter. Now he wasn't exactly sure how he felt.

Rachel sat down and kept her eyes on her plate. Emily smiled on the inside; she had succeeded in letting Rachel know Ross belonged to her.

Nobody said a word. Even when Joshua came back and the waiter brought the bill.

…..

It was raining when they exited the restaurant, meaning there were very few cabs available.

"Why don't we all take a taxi together and we can go to Ross' place for tea?" Emily suggested.

"Sounds great," Joshua answered. _Great_, Rachel thought to herself, _more time with Ross and Emily_.

…..

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how late it was, but I have to go pack. I have to go back to England in the morning," Emily said, mainly to Joshua, whom she had been talking to since they had gotten to Ross' place a few hours ago. Ross and Rachel hadn't said a word since they returned from the restaurant. They just stared at the floor, lost in thought, as they drank their tea.

Before standing up from the couch, Emily put her hands on either side of Ross' face to turn his head towards her. She kissed him on the lips, enthusiastically. She tried to deepen it when Ross abruptly pulled away.

Ross was angry at Emily; she had, most likely, ruined his friendship with Rachel with her statement at dinner. Rachel was giving Ross the cold shoulder, obviously she was hurt. What was Emily thinking, bringing that up in public?

Emily just stood up from the couch and walked to the bedroom.

"It is late," Joshua said, looking at the clock. "Do you want to get going Rach?"

Rachel looked at Ross for the first time since they'd arrived at his apartment. She saw pain in his eyes; she hated seeing him like that.

"Um, why don't you go get a cab, I'll be down in a minute," Rachel answered, not even moving her gaze from Ross' face.

"Okay," Joshua said as he turned and exited the apartment.

Rachel sat across from Ross in the armchair. Ross sat on the couch looking anywhere but her. After a while Rachel got up and walked over to Ross, she hesitantly sat down beside him on the couch.

"What's wrong? Why are you so upset?" Rachel asked barely above a whisper. Ross cleared his throat before responding.

"Nothing's wrong," Ross answered trying to fake enthusiasm, Rachel didn't believe him for a second.

"Why have you been so quiet all evening if nothing's wrong? Come on, I know you better than that. Something is bothering you, and I just want to be a good friend and help you out," Rachel explained. Ross thought over what to answer. He couldn't ask about her feelings, it wasn't the right time or place. Ross made up an excuse that was partially true.

"I've just been thinking that we should get closure on our relationship before we move on," Ross said, slowly.

"You know, I'd like that too," Rachel replied, trying not to look saddened by is suggestion. Closure would be the final step to moving on.

"Why don't we meet sometime this week and talk in private," Ross suggested.

"Sure. How about we go to dinner at that new restaurant that opened around the block?" Rachel whispered, trying to keep Emily from hearing their secret dinner plans.

"Sounds good, I'll give you a call," Ross answered, trying his best to hide his fear of going out alone with Rachel.

"I'd better get going," Rachel said. She got up and began to head for the door, Ross got up as well.

"Rach, one more thing…" Ross said. He paused as Rachel turned back around to face him. "A few weeks ago when we had that conversation in the hall during Emily's Bon Voyage party you said _plans change_. I just wanted to know what you meant by that," Ross said quickly.

Rachel knew exactly what he was talking about. She couldn't believe he remembered that. Rachel took a step closer to Ross so they were just a foot apart. She closed her eyes as she decided how to word her next sentence. Ross just watched her, waiting.

"When I told you plans change, I meant that sometimes you don't end up with who you thought you would," Rachel said slowly as she looked up into Ross' eyes. It took a few seconds for her words to sink in. But when they did his eyes filled with tears.

"Rach…" Ross began, but he didn't know what to say. They stood there for a while, just looking at each other. It felt like being stabbed in the heart, for both of them. The thought of how much this relationship had screwed up their lives was hard to accept. They had lost their future together, and neither of them wanted to admit to each other just how much that hurt.

"I'll talk to you soon Ross," Rachel replied quietly, her throat tight with tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She turned and walked out the door as a few tears escaped and ran down her cheeks.

"Rach," Ross whispered again, this time just to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be updating this story for about two weeks. Exams are coming up and I really need to focus on studying.**

**Please leave a review to let me know what you think of this chapter I've left you hanging on. ;) **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>Rachel stood in front of the mirror in Monica's bathroom, getting ready for dinner with Ross.<p>

Monica had kindly let her get ready at her apartment so Joshua wouldn't ask any questions about where she would be tonight and why she was so dressed up. Rachel decided it would be best if Joshua didn't know she was going out to dinner alone with her ex-boyfriend.

As Rachel applied the final touches to her makeup she felt her nerves twist and knot her stomach. She couldn't stop thinking about this night going badly. Rachel's mind was buzzing with thoughts: _What if we get in a fight and disrupt the entire restaurant? What if Joshua or Emily find out we were alone together? They would automatically assume we were cheating on them._

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Rachel called. The doorknob turned and Monica walked in holding a few dresses.

"Okay Rach, do you want to wear any of these?" Monica asked holding up an assortment of colourful dresses.

Rachel was thankful Monica was letting her borrow something to wear; otherwise Rachel would have had to sneak something to change into without Joshua seeing.

Phoebe soon came into view behind Monica. As soon as she heard Rachel was going to be getting ready for a date with Ross she decided to help out.

Phoebe was secretly hoping that on this date Ross and Rachel would realize they should be together. She hoped they would express their feelings. Phoebe knew they were hiding the truth from one another.

"I think you should wear this one," Phoebe said as she pointed to a dress.

"I don't think that's appropriate for tonight, it's just too revealing," Rachel said, casting it aside to look through the other dresses Monica was holding.

_So close_, Phoebe thought to herself. She was hoping if Rachel looked incredibly sexy, Ross wouldn't be able to stop his feelings for her from showing.

Rachel finally settled on an elegant black dress. She looked in the mirror as she held the dress in front of her body and sighed nervously.

"What's wrong Rach?" Phoebe questioned, but she knew exactly what her friend was thinking. Phoebe had seen Rachel look like this before, and it was when she was about to go on her first date with Ross.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just worried," Rachel replied, embarrassed.

"What's there to be worried about?" Monica asked. "You're making a big deal over nothing. You know Ross, it's not like he's a stranger. You've been on plenty of dates with him."

"Yeah, but that's the thing. After our break-up, I've never been on a date with him where we're just friends," Rachel explained.

"Well, don't think of it as a date. Just think of it as two friends having dinner," Monica said.

"It's just going to be so awkward. We're going to have to talk about our relationship, and you guys know how hard it is for us to be truthful with each other. Discussing how we feel has never been easy," Rachel explained, she looked at herself in the mirror again before looking back at her friends, waiting for advice.

Monica and Phoebe didn't have a response to that. They knew this night would be difficult for their friends. The two would have to find a way to get closure on their relationship. The date could go good if they both behaved, or it could turn into an argument, like usual.

"I think you should just be as truthful as possible," Phoebe said. She tried to give Rachel a look that would tell her, without words, to be completely honest about still loving him.

…..

Ross walked up the staircase to Monica's apartment. He had agreed to meet Rachel there and then they would go to the restaurant together.

Ross was full of nerves. He had been telling his self all day to watch what he said. He didn't want to accidentally let Rachel know he knew how she truly felt. Or did he?

Ross had been debating whether or not he should confess his own feelings to Rachel. If he told her about the letter and said he felt the same maybe they could talk about it. But knowing Rachel she would probably just get angry and they would end up in another argument. Ross decided not to risk it.

He approached the door to apartment twenty. As he raised a hand to knock he noticed it shaking slightly. He tapped on the door, and soon it opened to reveal Rachel.

Rachel took Ross' breath away. He couldn't believe how incredible she looked standing there in the doorway. Her dark blonde hair fell to her shoulders in gentle waves, and her short black dress hugged her curves beautifully.

"You look great," Ross said sincerely, as he looked into her blue eyes.

"Thanks… You don't look too bad yourself," Rachel replied.

Rachel too was in shock. She noticed Ross looked different than the other night, on their double date. He looked more put together and sophisticated in his light grey suit with white collared dress shirt and teal tie. His hair was perfectly gelled, the way she liked it.

After a few seconds of starring at each other Ross decided it was time to leave if they were going to make their reservation time.

"We should get going," Ross announced.

"Sure," Rachel answered. Ross and Rachel walked silently side by side down the stairs and out onto the street. They got into a cab and went to the restaurant.

…..

"Here's your table. Your waiter will be right with you," the maître d' told them as he placed menus in front of their places. Ross and Rachel took their seats at a table for two.

Rachel looked around at the restaurant. It had a very intimate feel to it, with its neutral walls and the warm glow of the lights. The ceiling was covered in medium tone wood beams and illuminated by elegant pendant chandeliers. The windows, which looked upon the city lights, were framed by off-white curtains, the same colour as the patterned table cloths.

Ross and Rachel stayed silent as they decided what to order. They were both glad they had their menus to look at while they got up the courage for their discussion.

Soon the waiter came and took their orders along with their menus. Ross and Rachel were left without a diversion, they had to talk now.

"So… what did you want to discuss?" Rachel asked, uncomfortably.

"I guess I just wanted to find a way to get closure on our relationship. I think it's only fair," Ross explained, his nervous gaze didn't meet her eyes.

"I want you to know that I am happy we can still be friends after what happened between us. I guess I was always afraid if we got together and things didn't work out it would wreck our friendship, but it didn't," Rachel admitted.

"I would never stop being your friend, Rachel. Even if we can't work out a relationship I'm glad you have forgiven me enough to stay friends," Ross said. "I mean you even set me up with Emily, I could have never done that. As I said before at first I wasn't ready to move on."

"To tell you the truth, I wasn't over you then either," Rachel admitted. "When you were telling me that we were finally in a place where we could be happy for each other, I realized I was never really there. I was jealous of you and Emily, like you were jealous of me and Joshua."

"When did you get over me?" Ross asked anxiously.

"I guess I really didn't get over you," Rachel replied slowly.

"What do you mean?" Ross questioned, confused.

"I think I just told myself we couldn't be together anymore, because of the pain you caused me, but I don't think I've ever stopped loving you," Rachel explained looking at her hands.

"If you feel that way, why can't we be together?" Ross asked, looking at her face.

"I can't forgive you," Rachel said sorrowfully.

"I miss you Rach," Ross said out of the blue.

"I know. I miss you too. But, you have to understand that we can't be together. I just can't forgive you for what you did to me," Rachel explained sadly.

When the waiter returned with their plates of food Ross continued to gaze at Rachel. They had both basically admitted they still loved each other, and yet she didn't want to be together.

Ross shook his head, what was he thinking? He had Emily; he was trying to move on. If Rachel didn't want to be together he had to stop thinking of her in that way.

"So… what now?" Ross asked.

"You continue dating Emily and I will continue dating Joshua. We can't settle our problem, so we have to stay friends," Rachel answered. Ross knew it was the right thing to do. They couldn't come to an agreement on their relationship, so they had no choice but to move on.

"I guess you're right," Ross said.

They continued to eat their dinner in silence. There was nothing left to say, they had closure, and they had agreed to move on. Even though both of them knew inside they didn't want to.

…..

Much to Rachel's displeasure Ross insisted on paying for her dinner. Now it definitely felt more like a date than just two friends having dinner.

They exited the restaurant and got in a cab. Rachel instructed the driver to drive them to her and Joshua's apartment. Both Ross and Rachel just stared out their window on their journey through the city. Neither wanted to talk about their relationship right then, they were both still absorbing the decision they had come to.

The air in the cab suddenly became thick with tension. Ross tried his best to push his thoughts that revolved around Rachel to the back of his mind. But he just couldn't stop thinking that this was probably their last time going to dinner just the two of them. They had decided to move on; this was the end of Ross and Rachel.

The cab eventually pulled to the curb in front of Rachel's apartment.

"This is my place… I guess I'll see you later," Rachel said to Ross, as she paid her part of the fare to the cab driver. Ross nodded before Rachel opened the cab door.

"Wait Rach!" Ross called. He didn't let her answer, he just opened his door. Rachel stopped and watched him approach her.

"Let me walk you to your door," Ross said, wanting to spend every last second with her.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Joshua's home he might see us," Rachel lied as they stopped on the sidewalk. She knew Joshua would probably be asleep; she just didn't want to see the pain in Ross' eyes any longer.

"I promise I'll just walk you to your door," Ross stated. Rachel looked at his face and she just didn't want to say no. She knew he was just being his kind self.

"Okay," was all Rachel replied. The two walked up the stairs. Ross couldn't stop thinking about how it used to feel to walk Rachel to her door when they were dating.

He was brought out of his daydream when Rachel stopped a short distance away from her door. She turned towards Ross.

"Thank you for paying for dinner," Rachel said, suddenly shy.

"Not a problem," Ross replied. They stood there silently for a few moments, both not knowing what to say next. Ross couldn't stop thinking about what she had said earlier:

_I think I just told myself we couldn't be together anymore, because of the pain you caused me, but I don't think I've ever stopped loving you._

_I don't think I've ever stopped loving you._

Rachel couldn't get his words out of her head either:

_I miss you Rach._

Rachel believed his statement more than ever with the way he was looking at her in that moment. They looked deep into each other's eyes, both lost in confusion about their feelings. It would be so easy to go back to the way it was before, and yet it wasn't that easy at the same time. She couldn't trust him, she couldn't forgive him.

Ross subconsciously took a step closer to Rachel, and she let him. They were only a foot apart, she could feel his breath on her face; she could hear his heart beating. Ross slowly moved closer so they were now only inches apart. He observed her face for any signs telling him to stop.

There was a moment of hesitation before he leaned in to close the distance between them. He gently pressed his lips against hers. He held his lips to hers for only a moment before pulling away. They both opened their eyes to look at each other.

This time it was Rachel who leaned in. Nothing else mattered to her in that moment; she ignored every warning in her head telling her to stop. She just kissed him.

Ross was surprized by her response but they were quickly swept up in passion and longing. This time he put his hands on her waist. Her hands were on his back as their lips moved in perfect sync. This kiss was familiar and comforting, and yet it still felt like a final departure.

She kissed his bottom lip while he tenderly pulled her closer to his chest, wrapping his arms around her. Her hands moved up his back and she began running her fingers through his short hair. Their breathing became erratic.

Ross' head began to spin with the intensity of the moment. He steadied himself by putting his hands against the wall on either side of Rachel's shoulders, pinning her to the wall behind her. As he gently kissed her bottom lip, he pressed her against the wall. Rachel moaned into the kiss as she moved her hands to his face. They had to part for air.

Rachel knew this was wrong. She slowly let her hands fall to her sides as they stood there with their eyes closed and their lips almost touching. Why were they doing this if they couldn't be together? Ross moved his hands from the wall to her face. He leaned in again, but this time Rachel didn't respond to his lips against hers.

Ross pulled away and saw sorrow in her eyes. He took his hands off of her face as he embarrassedly blushed a deep red.

"I'm sorry," Ross whispered.

"I'm sorry too," Rachel said, barely audible. Her eyes filled with tears. "I guess that was just a moment of weakness." Silence filled the air once again.

"I'll go now," Ross announced, breaking the tense silence. "I wish you all the best with Joshua. I'd like to let him know, someday, what a wonderful woman he's with," Ross relied seriously.

"Bye," Rachel responded in a soft voice, unable to say anything else.

"Bye," Ross said before he turned and left. Rachel leaned against the wall holding her head.

…..

Rachel walked into her apartment and entered the bedroom. Joshua was awake reading a book.

"Hi sweetie, where've you been?" Joshua asked, as Rachel stood frozen in the doorway, shocked to see him still awake.

"I went to dinner with my friends," Rachel lied.

"You look sad, is everything okay?" Joshua inquired. Rachel didn't know what to say, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Come here," Joshua said as he motioned for Rachel to hug him.

As Joshua pulled Rachel into a warm embrace all she felt was guilt. Here she was dating Joshua and she just kissed Ross. Ross had caused her heart to break and she was still hung up on him. _That's it_, Rachel thought, _I can't go down that road again with Ross. We had our chance and we've decided to move on. _


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi everyone! I'm back! Exams are over, thank goodness, and it's time to get back to this story!**

**I hope waiting for this update was worth it! Now that I'm off school for a few days I'll have time to update again soon. I only have one request… I get some feedback! Let me know what you think with a review! :)**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>It had been a month since Ross and Rachel's dinner date. The two of them had had very little time to be alone together, which was probably a good thing. They had begun to focus on their new relationships.<p>

Emily and Joshua would hang out with the group of six everywhere from Central Perk to Monica's apartment. It was as if they were two new members added to the group of friends.

Joshua and Emily were different when compared to any of the group's other boyfriends or girlfriends. Joshua and Rachel were in a serious relationship and so were Ross and Emily, so the other four knew they had to get used to them being around.

The four were still getting used to the idea of Ross and Rachel moving on, almost as much as Ross and Rachel were. Phoebe was the only one who was trying to hang on to the idea that Ross and Rachel would get back together. She was hoping that her two lobsters would work this 'moving on stuff' out of their system and realize they missed each other's company.

Meanwhile, Ross and Rachel were trying their best to push each other from their thoughts, and it was slowly working. They were both so wrapped up in their lives; they barely had time to think of each other. It was as if the new people they were dating had begun to fill the empty voids left in their hearts.

Rachel was starting to feel better about dating Joshua, or was she was forcing herself to feel that way? She had committed herself to thinking only of him, which was only partially working.

After her date with Ross she had a hard time keeping her mind off of him. Rachel was finding it easier and easier to fill her head with thoughts of Joshua every time she began to think of Ross. But there was always a recurring memory in the back of her mind, trying to break its way free. That memory was of her date with Ross.

Rachel tried her best to forget about their date and their kiss, but she always felt stuck between what she knew was right and what she had convinced herself was wrong. She loved Joshua, which was moving forward, but she knew she was still hung up on Ross, which was like taking a step backwards.

Little did Rachel know, Ross was going through the same problems as her. Only, if possible, he was having a harder time.

Ross enjoyed his relationship with Emily; she brought out a whole other side of him. The only challenge was that Emily still traveled back and forth from England, which meant sometimes she was away for weeks on end. Ross went through emotional torture during the time Emily was away.

When Emily was with him in New York he could distract himself because she made him feel wanted, but when she was gone Ross always thought about Rachel.

Ross wanted so badly to forget about Rachel, but when he was alone he fell apart. Seeing Rachel happy with Joshua, after the amazing kiss they had shared, broke his heart. Seeing Joshua hold Rachel close made his heart hurt. At least when he had Emily by his side she would take his mind off of Rachel.

Ross loved Emily. But, he felt like it was hard to be devoted to someone who is on the other side of the world; especially when your previous girlfriend is right in front of you.

Ross' guilt ate him alive when he thought of the fact that he was so fixated on Rachel while he was with Emily. He would feel the lowest of low when he actually contemplated ever actually loving Emily. Was he just using her to fill his needs until Rachel came back to him?

Ross often told himself to move on, and recently it had been working a little. It was time for him to grow up and forget about his high school crush, but that was easier said than done.

…..

Rachel stood at the front door of her apartment, putting on her coat. Tonight was the night she was going to meet Joshua's parents for the first time, and she felt nervous.

Joshua put on his coat and gave Rachel a rub on the shoulder telling her everything was going to be fine. Rachel walked out of the apartment and Joshua followed, locking the door behind them. When they walked down the stairs and then out onto the street there was a taxi waiting to take them to Joshua's parents' house. Joshua's parents owned a condo in an upscale part of the city.

…..

When Rachel and Joshua arrived at the luxurious building they were greeted by doormen and a marble-floored foyer. The two took the elevator to the penthouse suite. Rachel's heart began to pound against her ribs as the elevator got closer and closer to the floor.

Once the elevator came to a stop, Joshua put his hand on the small of Rachel's back to guide her out towards the hallway. Rachel and Joshua walked to the correct door and Joshua knocked, and then turned the door handle.

"Mom, Dad, we're here," Joshua called from the doorway. The condo was incredible with its crystal chandelier and polished floors. Soon Joshua's parents entered the front hall and each gave their son a hug. Rachel wasn't surprized to see them both wearing expensive clothing. Joshua turned to Rachel, who was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"I'd like to introduce you to Rachel," Joshua announced as he gestured to Rachel.

"Rachel, it's so nice to meet you," Joshua's mom said in a very proper voice. She shook Rachel's hand and then Joshua's father shook her hand as well.

"Why don't we get to know you over dinner?" Joshua's dad suggested. Soon enough they were all sitting in an elegant dining room eating a high end meal.

…..

Ross was enjoying spending time with Emily and Ben, whom he had for the weekend. Emily was staying for the evening and leaving the next morning.

Ross and Emily had been invited to take Ben to visit Ross' parents. Emily had been over to Ross' parents' house once before and she was very pleased to return.

When the three arrived at the Geller residence they were quickly ushered in for a homemade dinner, prepared by Judy. Ross' parents were glad to see Emily and Ross so happy together. At first they were a little sad things didn't work out with Rachel and their son. None the less Jack and Judy were thrilled to see Ross in a lasting relationship with Emily.

…..

After dinner Ross was helping his mother clean up while Emily and Jack played with Ben in the living room. Judy was almost done the dishes when Ross entered the kitchen to help dry. Judy and Ross were both standing at the sink when she turned to Ross.

"Sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you about something," Judy said in a low voice. She handed Ross another wet dish to dry. He turned to face his mother while he wiped it with a dish towel.

"What is it?" Ross asked as he put the dish in a cupboard. Judy put down her sponge on the side of the sink. She took the towel from Ross to dry her hands. Ross just watched his mother as she put the towel on the counter.

"Well, I just want you to know your father and I are so happy that you have found Emily. You were so miserable after you broke up with Rachel," Judy looked at her son with an expression of sorrow, before she continued. "It's just that, Emily lives in England and we see your mood change every time she has to leave. So, I wanted to give you this…" Judy explained. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box.

Ross took the box in his hands and opened it. His eyes widened when he saw the beautiful diamond ring that was inside. Ross looked back at his mother; she had tears in her eyes.

"It was your Grandmother's ring. We were hoping you would give it to Emily. Your relationship has been going so well, and when you propose to her you can ask her to move here," Judy said in a whisper, her voice filled with tears.

Ross didn't realize he had been holding his breath once he had seen the ring. He exhaled a long breath as he considered the situation. He didn't feel ready to be engaged to Emily, let alone marry her. Their relationship just didn't feel right, not with all his unanswered questions about Rachel.

Ross closed the box gently and looked back at his mother. He shook his head as he held the box out to her.

"I don't think I'm ready to ask Emily to marry me," Ross said quietly. Judy put her hand over Ross' and closed his fingers around the box.

"Keep it. Maybe if you think it over you will change your mind," Judy replied.

…..

Rachel and Joshua returned, quite late, to their apartment. The evening had gone well; Joshua knew his parents would like Rachel.

Meeting Joshua's parents, for some reason, made Rachel think of what it was like to meet Ross' parents for the first time. Of course she had met Ross' parents before, being Monica's friend and all, but it was strange to go to the Geller's house as Ross' girlfriend.

Rachel remembered the time she first visited. It was a few weeks after her and Ross' first date. She couldn't get the moment out of her head when Judy took her aside and told her she was so happy she and Ross were dating. Judy had also mentioned how she could never ask for a better girlfriend for her son.

The evening with Joshua's parents was totally different. Their home felt cold and uninviting compared to the friendly atmosphere at the Gellers'. Something about the way Jack and Judy treated her always made her feel like part of their family.

Rachel shook her head to clear her mind. Her time as Ross' girlfriend was over; she would have to learn to love Joshua's parents.

Rachel and Joshua made their way to their bedroom. Rachel unzipped her dress and changed into her pyjamas while Joshua loosened his tie and sat on the edge of the bed. He had been having quite a few thoughts about Rachel lately and there was one in particular he wanted to run by her.

"So, Rachel, I wanted to talk to you about something that's been on my mind lately. Tonight just kind of brought it back to the surface," Joshua explained.

"Okay, go ahead," Rachel said as she sat on the bed against her pillow, leaning on the headboard.

"I wanted to ask you if you think this relationship is going well," Joshua released in one breath.

"Why would you even have to ask that? I think we both know this is going great," Rachel said, reassuringly touching his arm.

"Well I just wanted your opinion before I asked you my next question," Joshua began. Rachel just stared at him with a confused expression. Joshua paused before he continued. "I wanted to ask if you ever think of having a family with me, in the future."

Rachel was taken by surprize, suddenly a whole bunch of thoughts hit her like a tonne of bricks. She remembered a very distinct memory as she considered what Joshua had just said. Of course, Joshua's discussion reminded her of a conversation with Ross.

_I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby, _Ross had once said to her in Central Perk while she hesitantly held Ben. This comment had led Ross to explain about his future plans for him and Rachel. She had been a little freaked out when he was thinking of these kinds of things when they had only been dating for six weeks.

In this moment all Rachel wanted to do was stop her brain from thinking her next thought. But she couldn't help but remember that the day she and Ross were having that conversation about their future was the same night they had said their first I love you's.

Rachel had tears in her eyes as she remembered those memories. Each one gave her a sinking feeling. Rachel's breath caught in her throat. Those happy memories hurt. It was hard to admit that that chapter in her life was over. She would never plan a future with Ross again.

"Rachel? Are you okay?" Joshua asked.

"I'm alright… I-I would love to have a family with you one day," Rachel answered as cheerful as she could sound. She didn't know if she was being truthful, but it was all she could think of saying to avoid breaking his heart.

"That's great Rachel!" Joshua exclaimed. "Why don't we get to bed?" Rachel just nodded in response.

Joshua changed into some pyjama pants and a t-shirt as Rachel got under the covers. Joshua soon turned out his light and joined Rachel under the blankets.

Rachel couldn't sleep. Why couldn't she just love Joshua? A while ago she would have given anything to be with him. He was so nice and handsome, why did everything have to remind her of Ross?

…..

After a night of restlessness, Rachel couldn't stop thinking of Joshua's plans to have a family. How could those memories about Ross still bother her, even after what he had done? He had hurt her, and she still was hung up on him. How could she think these things when Joshua was willing to give her everything, without a complicated history and with all the love he could offer?

Out of the blue these thoughts reminded her of a recent discovery yesterday morning: Her period was almost a week late. Rachel began to panic; she couldn't be pregnant could she?

Rachel climbed out of bed and walked into the kitchen where Joshua was already awake, drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Um, Joshua, I have to talk to you about something," Rachel said, fear clearly in her voice. She stood nervously in the kitchen doorframe with her arms wrapped around herself.

"What's wrong?" Joshua asked putting down his newspaper.

"Well, I, um, think I missed my period," Rachel stuttered, timidly. "I think I might be pregnant."

"Wow, um…" Joshua stuttered speechlessly, he covered his mouth with his hand. "I'll run to the store and get some pregnancy tests, okay?" Joshua replied after a few moments. He then got up from the table and quickly walked out the door.

Rachel began to panic some more. She didn't want to have a baby now, especially not without sorting out her true feelings about having a family with Joshua.

…..

Joshua soon returned with three pregnancy tests.

"Sorry Rach but I'm going to be late for work if I don't leave now. But call me as soon as you get the results, okay?" Joshua explained after handing Rachel the bag.

"Alright," Rachel replied, distractedly.

"I'll talk to you soon," Joshua said. "Everything's going to be okay." He kissed Rachel's forehead before walking out the door.

Rachel headed to the bathroom with the bag, her hands shaking. Luckily today she didn't have to go to work.

…..

Waiting the full three minutes for the test results was like waiting a lifetime. Rachel paced across the bathroom floor as she waited for the moment of truth. She had been trying very hard to remember a night where she could have gotten pregnant, but her mind was too jumbled.

Rachel looked at her watch and, thankfully, it was time. She took a deep breath before looking at the three tests.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry I didn't update sooner, my new semester was keeping me busy!**

**I noticed that no one reviewed the last chapter! I really was surprized, I thought you'd have a lot to say about what happened in the last chapter! **

**I know this explanation has been used a lot but it really encourages me to write when I know people are enjoying reading! So PLEASE review this time and I promise the next update will come faster than the last few times! :) **

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>"Hi Emily, it's Ross. I must have missed you again. Please give me a call when you get this message. Bye," Ross said into his phone, to Emily's answering machine.<p>

Emily had been in England for five days and she still hadn't called him. Ross was beginning to worry; she always called him as soon as she landed. Every time he called, lately, all he was getting was her answering machine. Was work really keeping her that busy? Or maybe her phone was broken?

Ross walked over to his couch and collapsed onto it, completely fatigued. This long distance relationship was more difficult that he had expected, and it was beginning to exhaust him.

Ross rested his head against the back of his couch and closed his eyes. He let out an exasperated sigh, why wouldn't Emily call him? Had he done something wrong? Then the answer came to him. He remembered back to the night he came home from his secret date with Rachel.

_-Flashback-_

_Ross walked back to his apartment building lost in thought. How could he be so stupid and kiss Rachel. Ross shook his head, appalled by his actions. He and Rachel had decided they couldn't make their relationship work and then he kissed her? That could only confuse him more._

_Ross finally reached his apartment door. He checked his watch and opened the door slowly and quietly; assuming Emily would be in bed by now. Only the moonlight and streetlights shining in from the window illuminated the room with a soft glow. _

_Ross walked quietly into the bedroom. To his surprise Emily was sitting in bed wide awake. Her arms were crossed across her chest; Ross immediately knew that he was in trouble._

"_Where have you been?" Emily said angrily. "You said you'd be back soon." _

"_I'm really sorry. I lost track of time," Ross answered. He stood in front of the bed taking off his suit jacket._

"_Where were you?" Emily asked, this time much more bitter._

"_I was out with my friends," Ross answered nervously, trying to be convincing and hoping she'd believe his lie. Ross was never a good liar, Emily saw right through him. She exhaled an angry breath trying to keep from snapping. Why was he lying to her?_

"_Who were you with?" Emily all but yelled at him, her voice becoming a little shrill. Her eyes were boring into him with rage. Ross decided to abandon his lie, she would most likely be less angry about it if he told the truth now instead of later._

"_I was, um, with Rachel," Ross said slowly, trying to gage her reaction. _

"_Alone?" Emily asked._

"_Yes, Emily, alone. We're friends who went out to dinner together," Ross explained. He was beginning to get angry too. _

_Emily didn't say anything back; she just lied down on her pillow in a huff, turning her back to Ross._

Ross remembered how angry she had been with him, that evening, but that couldn't be the reason why she wasn't calling. That date had been weeks ago and she hadn't said anything to him about it since that night. Ross had been convinced she had forgotten about it, she had been acting completely normal. She had come to New York quite a few times since then, and spent time with Ross' friends.

Ross knew what he had to do. He would take a few days off work and visit Emily in England. That way he could make sure she was all right and they could spend some time together.

…..

A few days later, Ross' bags were packed and he had his airline ticket. He was all set for his trip to London, England. Thankfully the museum was understanding about the whole thing and they graciously gave him the time off work to visit Emily.

Ross boarded the plane and sat in his correct seat. He stared out the window as the plane took off. His mind kept wandering between the two women that always occupied his thoughts: Rachel and Emily.

Ross couldn't stop wondering how Rachel was doing; they hadn't seen each other in quite some time. Ross quickly stopped that train of thought, and moved on to Emily. What would he say to her when he got there? Would she be happy to see him or annoyed that he came? Was he being to desperate and worried about what was, most likely, nothing to worry about?

These thoughts were only making him anxious. Ross cleared his mind by reading a magazine he had brought and soon he dozed off.

When he woke up they were landing in London. Ross grabbed his carry-on bag and exited the plane.

…..

Ross pulled out a piece of paper with Emily's address on it and read it to his taxi driver. Before long he was on his way to Emily's flat.

When he arrived outside of a tall building with the correct address he paid the taxi driver and climbed out. He only hoped Emily was home, but why wouldn't she be, it was now the middle of the night.

It had begun to rain but, luckily, Ross would be inside shortly. He ran up the front steps in a hurry and made his way into the lobby. His shoes squeaked on the shiny tile floor with every step he took. His hair dripped from the rain drops.

Ross looked at the address one more time, but he couldn't figure out where Emily's apartment was located in the building. It was late but fortunately there was someone walking out of their apartment.

"Excuse me; do you know where apartment 312 would be?" Ross asked the man.

"Yeah, just go that way to the elevator, and then turn right when you get to the third floor," The man explained pointing in the direction of the elevators.

"Thank you," Ross said, before he headed in the proper direction.

Ross rode the elevator to the third floor. He ran his hand through his hair when he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirrored wall of the elevator. His hair was semi-presentable when the bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open.

Ross found the right apartment without much trouble. He knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" A voice from the other side of the door asked.

"Hello? Emily? It's Ross. Open up," Ross shouted through the door.

"Ross? Hold on a moment," Emily's muffled voice called through the door again. She sounded surprized. After a few seconds Ross heard the locks click as Emily unlocked the door. She opened it enough to stick her head out of. Emily stood there peering around the door in only a bathrobe.

"What's going on?" Ross asked, suspiciously.

"I was just, um, taking a bath," Emily replied.

"At 2:00am?" Ross asked. He placed his hand on the door and Emily let him push his way in. He walked into the apartment. The room was dark; Ross had to let his eyes adjust to the low light. All of a sudden there was a faint sound to his left which caused Ross to jump with fear.

"Emily? What's going on?" A man questioned as he walked out of the bedroom, wearing only boxer shorts. Ross couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. He whipped around to face Emily, his expression a mixture of anger and heartache.

"Ross, I can explain," Emily pleaded, she touched his arm. Ross shook her hand off and stepped away from her.

"Is this why you haven't been calling me?" Ross asked his voice quiet and filled with pain, but he already knew the answer. Emily looked at the ground before she turned to the man, who was still standing in the living room frozen with fright.

"Collin, could you give us a minute?" Emily asked softly. Collin nodded before exiting the living room swiftly.

"How could you do this to me? How could you cheat?" Ross questioned, his temper rising.

"I…" Emily began, but didn't know how to explain her motives.

"Why did you do it?" Ross asked as his voice became a little quieter.

"I'm sorry Ross. I was just so mad at you," Emily explained.

"What do you mean? You're not talking about my night out with Rachel. Are you?" Ross asked.

"She's part of the problem, but there's another reason," Emily paused and inhaled nervously. "I was searching through your desk for a pen, a little while ago, when a came across a letter. I pulled it out to make sure it wasn't important, and I read it," Emily hesitated. "That letter told you she might be in love with you still and, after your night out together, I thought you might still love her too," Emily whispered the last words as tears ran down her cheeks.

Ross opened his mouth to reply, but he didn't know what to say. He suddenly was hit with a wave of guilt. Luckily Emily continued.

"I was scared Ross. I thought you were going to leave me for Rachel. That's why I decided to patch things up with Collin, my ex-boyfriend. I tried to keep you guys apart by complaining about spending time with your friends. I mean I even tried to find a way to make Rachel sure that you had moved on-" Emily explained before she was interrupted by Ross.

"What are you talking about?" Ross questioned.

"On our double date with her and Joshua I waited until she was near us to tell you I loved you back," Emily admitted.

"So you're telling me that I flew to London to make sure a woman who tried to sabotage my friendship with Rachel was okay?" Ross asked angrily.

"Ross did you ever think this relationship would work out?" Emily asked.

"I thought we were doing a great job making it work," Ross replied.

"We live on different sides of the world," Emily argued.

"This would have worked if you had just believed me about only being friends with Rachel," Ross said angrily.

"How could I believe you? I know you still love her," Emily reasoned.

"I don't love-"

"Yes you do, Ross. I see the way you look at her. You look at her and Joshua like you want to be with her instead of him. Your eyes light up when you see her. That is a love I can't compete with," Emily explained sadly. "I never had all of your love. I was always and will always be just a crutch to lean on while you heal your relationship with Rachel. You may have thought you loved me, but you never fully did."

The two of them just stood there in silence. Ross couldn't help but realize that what Emily had just said was absolutely true.

"I guess I'll go," Ross said quietly.

"I'm sorry Ross. We never would have worked. Sooner or later this had to come to an end," Emily said as she pointed back and forth between herself and Ross.

"I'm sorry too," Ross replied.

"Bye Ross."

"Bye." And with that Ross exited the apartment forever.

…..

Ross had a lot of time to think on the flight home. He realized how right Emily was, he never really did love her 100 percent. Any feelings for her were just a rebound from the pain of losing Rachel. He only wanted to feel comforted by someone. Ross never really wanted to be in love with someone else because it wasn't possible. There was only one woman he loved.

Ross had never stopped loving Rachel. He had just put his feelings on hold until they were brought out by that conversation in the hallway that one night. How could he have believed that he could actually stop loving Rachel?

Even though he didn't completely love Emily this break up still hurt. Now he would have to go back to an empty apartment and live his empty life. How was it possible for losing one woman to make such a big impact on his life? Would he ever be able to move on from Rachel?

Rachel

Her name sounded like music to his ears. She was perfect for him in every way. Why did he have to mess things up with her? Why couldn't they get past their roadblock? Then it hit him. Having Emily cheat on him opened his eyes.

Ross didn't love Emily but having her cheat on him still hurt. Ross realized that this is how Rachel must have felt. But she probably felt a hundred times worse because they were actually in love when he cheated on her. Ross now understood why she couldn't forgive him. He felt terrible, even more terrible than he had ever felt about the whole 'we were on a break' incident.

Ross needed to see Rachel. He needed to apologise again and then let her do whatever she wanted. If she was happy with Joshua, he would find a way to be happy for her. Ross didn't want to ever hurt her again. He didn't want her to have to ever again feel the pain he was feeling now. Rachel deserved to be with whomever she wanted, he owed her that much.

…..

Rachel headed over to Monica's; she didn't want to be alone right now. Rachel wanted someone to talk to and Joshua was still at work.

Rachel had tried a number of times to get a hold of Joshua to no avail. You would think that someone awaiting news this important would answer the phone when it rang.

Rachel knocked on the door of apartment 20, the apartment she had called home for quite a few years. Monica answered and took in Rachel's appearance. Rachel had tears in her eyes and a pale complexion, she looked very dishevelled.

When Rachel saw Monica her tears began to run down her cheeks. Monica grabbed her best friend and pulled her into a hug. She didn't care what was wrong; she knew her friend needed comfort.

Monica ushered Rachel onto the couch.

"Rach, I'm so sorry, but I have to go to work. Unless you want me to call in sick," Monica said, she knew her friend too well and could tell something was up.

"No, no I'll be fine. I'll just stay here," Rachel replied. She felt more at home in Monica's apartment than in her own.

"Alright, but I promise I'll be here to listen when I get back," Monica said. Rachel's tears were already stopping. Monica rubbed Rachel's shoulder lovingly before grabbing her coat and leaving.

…..

Ross decided to find Rachel. He had already checked her apartment and no one was home. There were only three more places he would look: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler's and Monica's.

Ross chose to go to Monica's first; at least he could ask Monica if she'd seen her, if Rachel wasn't there. He knocked on the door in an urgent manner. The door opened to reveal Rachel.

"Oh you're here. Um, I need to talk to you. Alone," Ross said nervously.

"Well Monica's at work so come on in," Rachel said, as she stepped aside to let Ross walk in.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Thank you very much to those of you that took the time to review!**

**I'm sorry, I know last chapter I said I would update faster and I didn't. But, I promise if I get some reviews I'll post quicker this time! **

**So, please leave a review, even if it's short! I just want some reassurance that people actually like this story! :)**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>"What's with the bags?" Rachel asked as Ross entered Monica's apartment. Ross walked by her and sat on the couch. He put the bags in front of him on the floor.<p>

"That's part of the reason why I'm here," Ross answered. Rachel walked across the apartment as well; she stared at him very confused and still curious.

Rachel cautiously joined him on the couch. When she looked at him she first noticed he seemed sad. His soft brown eyes were the window to his soul and right now she could immediately tell he was upset about something.

"What happened Ross? You look unhappy, is something wrong?" Rachel asked. Ross wasn't meeting her gaze; he was looking down at his hands. He kept quiet as he folded and unfolded his hands, nervously.

Ross couldn't decide where to begin; Rachel kept distracting him from forming coherent thoughts. It was hard to explain what had happened when all he could think about was the way she sat there, concerned for him.

"Ross? What's going on?" Rachel questioned with an impatient tone to her voice. She reached across the space between them and put her hand over his. Ross looked up at her.

"Sorry," Ross apologised, blushing with embarrassment. "What happened was I went to London to visit Emily."

"That's what the bags are from," Rachel said, she then looked at his face. "Sorry, continue."

"Lately our relationship has been sort of falling apart. She wasn't calling me from London, so I kept leaving messages. I just wanted to know if she was alright, she always calls me. So I went to London… I know this sounds desperate," Ross said, cringing at his explanation.

"It doesn't sound desperate. It's very sweet," Rachel replied, trying to help him get to the point. "So why are you back?"

Ross just glared at her, giving her a look that clearly said 'I'm getting to that.' Rachel just nodded slightly, and decided to be quiet.

"I'm back because, well, when I got there I walked in and she-she was in the middle of cheating on me," Ross said, hanging his head. Rachel held her hand to her mouth in shock; she never thought Emily would do something like that.

Rachel recalled a time where she believed that Ross needed to know how it felt to be cheated on. She felt like Ross deserved to be cheated on because of what he did to her. But, surprisingly, in this moment all she felt was sympathy. She knew what it felt like to be cheated on, and no matter how angry she was at Ross for causing her so much pain, she couldn't bear the idea of wishing those feelings on anyone.

"I'm so sorry Ross," Rachel said sincerely. Ross' head snapped up to look at her, she was sorry for him? Ross, much like Rachel, had expected her think he deserved this.

"Really?" Ross asked.

"Yes! You don't deserve to be with someone like that. But, to tell you the truth, I never liked her. She wasn't right for you. I'm sure you'll find someone else. Someone much better for you," Rachel explained. She put a hand on his knee and rubbed it comfortingly. "Come here," Rachel said, as she held out her arms for a hug.

Ross leaned into her arms still dazed with confusion. They hugged for a few seconds. It felt so good to hold her in his arms, suddenly his plan slipped away from him. He realized that he didn't want to let go of Rachel again. He wanted so badly to try and sort out their relationship.

"Rachel, what if I already found someone better for me a long time ago? What if I found the person I'm meant to be with, but I ruined everything with my insane jealousy? What if because of my stupid mistake we'll never be together?" Ross inquired. He focused on her with an intense gaze, a gaze that could only mean he was talking about her.

Rachel couldn't believe the words he was saying. Her eyes stung with tears that threatened to fall. Rachel wanted so desperately to return to his arms and never leave again. But, could she learn to forgive him? She might be able to; they could work things out couldn't they?

Rachel just continued to look at Ross with bewilderment. Ross' look became serious, the mood changed. Soon the world around them disappeared; it was as if time stood still. Ross slowly leaned towards her, all the while looking deep into her eyes. His lips were only inches away from hers. Rachel closed her eyes.

Suddenly the moment was ruined by the phone's terrible timing. Both Ross and Rachel jumped apart as the phone broke the silence in the room.

Rachel quickly turned her body on the couch and picked the phone up from its spot on the table.

"Hello, Monica's place," Rachel answered, trying her best to make her voice sound normal.

"Rach, is that you? It's Joshua," Joshua said from the other side of the phone.

"Yeah it's me. Where have you been all day? I tried to call you," Rachel stated. She then stood up and walked to the other side of the coffee table.

"I'm sorry I didn't answer my phone. I tried to find a moment to call earlier, but work has just been hectic today," Joshua responded. Ross was staring at the floor now, wondering if it he had made the right choice by saying those things to Rachel. Hearing her talking to Joshua made him feel guilty, was he being selfish by trying to take her back?

"That's okay. Listen, can I talk to you later?" Rachel asked, desperately trying to get back to her conversation with Ross.

"Wait, Rachel, what did the tests say?" Joshua questioned, anxiously. Rachel sighed nervously; she was trying to avoid that topic so Ross wouldn't hear.

"They were all negative," Rachel tried to say quietly. But Ross heard anyways and was pulled from his thoughts. He looked up at her, with a puzzled expression.

"Alright. Hey, I hope you're okay," Joshua said, softly.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied. "I have to go. I'll talk to you when you get home, bye."

Joshua said goodbye as well, and then Rachel hung up. She put the phone back on its stand and sat back down on the couch beside Ross, hoping he wouldn't ask.

"What did you mean by _they were all negative_?" Ross asked slowly.

"Well, I, um, thought I was pregnant," Rachel responded, timidly.

Ross' heart sank, he felt disappointed but also regretful. This news was a wakeup call that told him he was about to ruin a happy relationship. Obviously Rachel wanted to be with Joshua if they were sleeping together. Ross and Emily hadn't slept together because he didn't feel totally in love with her. So Rachel must be in love with Joshua to go to that level of their relationship.

"Ross, I'm sorry-" Rachel began, before she was interrupted by Ross.

"Rachel, you have nothing to be sorry about," Ross stated.

"Well I didn't want you to find out this way. Are you okay?" Rachel asked.

"Why wouldn't I be okay? You're dating him; this has nothing to do with me. The question is are you okay?" Ross questioned, he observed her with an apologetic look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so. Except I'm confused," Rachel said.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm confused about my feelings," Rachel said, she was just so tired of keeping her true feelings bottled up. She needed to talk to him; they had to stop playing this game where they just hide their emotions from each other. She took a deep breath. "I think I still have feelings for you. And then there's Joshua. Being his girlfriend is just so easy and fun, you know?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel, I think you need to stay with Joshua. You love him. Forget about what I said before, I didn't know how good of a relationship you had when I said those things," Ross explained.

"Ross, I thought I wanted to move on, but I also didn't want to move on at the same time. I feel so torn sometimes. I don't know. I really want to move on, but you caused me so much pain…" Rachel paused trying to find a way to explain this properly.

"I know. You can't bring yourself to admitting you want to get back together because you can't forgive me," Ross said.

"That's what confuses me. How can I love you and still not forgive you… hold on, how did you know that? That's exactly what I've been thinking," Rachel said suspiciously, she crossed her arms. Ross wanted to kick himself; he had let his tongue slip. Rachel had written those exact words in the letter he took. Now he had to tell her about taking it.

"I, um, took that unsent letter you addressed to me. Please don't be angry because it doesn't matter what you said in that letter, you have to stay with Joshua. We can't be together if you can't forgive me," Ross explained. Rachel was stunned.

"You took my letter?" Rachel asked, getting heated. "Why would you do that?"

"Rachel, isn't it obvious? I've loved you the whole time I was dating Emily. At first I had moved on, but then after our conversation in the hallway I slowly began to realize I loved you still. I just wanted to know what you were going to send to me. If you had said you didn't love me anymore I would have dropped it but you are just as confused as I am. Your words wouldn't leave my head... Why didn't you send it?" Ross asked. Rachel cooled down after she heard his confession; she stopped for a moment.

"Don't try to change the topic," Rachel said, trying to stay angry but the look on his face broke her heart.

"Please tell me," Ross pleaded. Rachel inhaled and then slowly exhaled.

"I didn't send it because I was too scared… I was afraid that you and Emily would break up and you would try to return to me, but I didn't want to break your heart because I couldn't forgive you. You just seemed so happy, I didn't want to ruin that and then have our relationship not work out. I mean who knows if I even would have given it another chance, I was so confused, I needed to get my emotions figured out," Rachel clarified.

"Did you sort your feelings out?" Ross asked.

"I tried, but I really never came to a conclusion. I just focused on making things work with Joshua, I thought we had agreed to move on, but I guess we both really didn't. That's why I kissed you that night and why I almost kissed you now," Rachel explained.

"Well we have to put those things behind us. I don't want to cause you anymore pain. I now know what that pain feels like," Ross said sadly.

"Ross, being without you is going to cause me more pain than I've ever felt before," Rachel admitted with tears in her eyes. For a moment Ross wanted to give in, but he knew she deserved better. She didn't deserve the pain he caused her.

"Please, Rach. Forget about me. Stay with Joshua," Ross said. "I think should go… I'll see you later."

Ross stood up from the couch. This was the opportune moment for Rachel to stop him and not let him go, but she couldn't do it. She knew it was best to listen to him. Rachel let Ross grab his bags and then walk out the door without another word.

…..

Monica came home from her shift at the restaurant and found Rachel still there on her couch.

"Did you really need to talk to me this bad?" Monica quipped. She joined Rachel on the couch.

"Yeah, about two things," Rachel said, Monica just waited. "First of all, I came over crying because I had a pregnancy scare. I'm not ready to have a baby Mon, and I'm definitely not ready to have a baby with Joshua."

"Do you ever want to have kids with Joshua?" Monica asked.

"I used to think I did, but now I need more time to decide," Rachel said, fretfully. She put her head in her hands.

"What was the second thing?" Monica asked.

"Ross came over for a bit and we talked. Monica I still have feelings for him, and he admitted he does too. I can't forgive him though, and I know that's a bad excuse, but it hurts. He wants me to stay with Joshua. Now my mind is just so jumbled," Rachel explained in a rush. "Emily cheated on him, he's all alone, it would be so easy and yet so complicated to go back to him," Rachel said softly.

"Rachel, maybe Ross is right. If he's causing you this much pain, maybe you had your chance," Monica said, rubbing Rachel's arm with slow, soothing strokes.

"But being apart also causes me pain. I don't want to be with or without him," Those last words made Rachel break down.

Her words reminded of what was labelled 'their song': with or without you. She couldn't live with or without him, which was all too familiar. It was true though, she didn't want to let him go but she didn't want to be with him either.

Monica let Rachel sob onto her shoulder. There was nothing that would make this better if Rachel couldn't take a side. Monica knew there were only two choices: forget Ross or forgive him.

…..

Rachel eventually calmed down enough to go home. She walked into the apartment and wasn't surprized to see Joshua home, it was just past 8 o'clock in the evening.

"Rachel you're home. Where've you been?" Joshua asked from the couch. He then looked up from the TV and saw that Rachel looked upset. "Are you okay?"

"I was at Monica's. I'm fine, I just want to be alone," Rachel said quietly. Joshua figured she was just disappointed about not being pregnant and decided to let her be.

Rachel walked into her room and grabbed her favourite shirt to sleep in. It was the 'Frankie Says Relax' that once belonged to Ross. She swore it still smelled like him, which was usually comforting, but tonight it made her depressed.

Rachel curled up in her bed. She was in so much pain and it was all because of Ross. Maybe moving on would be the right choice after all. If they did get back together and it didn't work out the pain of losing him would only multiply.

A few hours passed and, without warning, Joshua stuck his head around the corner of their doorframe.

"Can I come in?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," Rachel tried to say cheerfully, but she ended up sounding strange. Joshua, already in his pyjamas climbed under the covers. He extended his arms to pull Rachel into a hug. He pulled her close and kissed the side of her head, comfortingly.

"I want to cheer you up," Joshua said.

"Okay," Rachel said slowly, wondering what he was up to. Joshua got out of the bed and stood beside it, Rachel watched him.

Joshua reached into his nightstand and then closed the drawer once more after grabbing a small object. He looked Rachel straight in the eyes as he sank to the ground on one knee. Rachel covered her mouth as her eyes widened. She let out a gasp.

"I had planned to do this another way, but after the whole pregnancy scare I decided I wanted to do this as soon as possible. I know this might be fast but I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before and I think we're ready to start a future together," Joshua took a breath. "Rachel Green will you marry me?" Joshua asked as he opened the box to reveal a diamond engagement ring.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I kept my promise and updated quick! This is probably the fastest I've ever updated a story…**

**Anyways, I'd first like to thank Cybermals for the encouragement to post this! :)**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>Rachel felt like she was being backed into a corner with no escape. Joshua had just forced her to make a decision between him and Ross. The big question was who would she choose, Ross or Joshua? The relationship with the complicated history or the easy relationship?<p>

"Joshua… at one point I really did want to marry you, but now I just don't know," Rachel said as tears filled her eyes.

"Rach, it's okay. This is a big commitment; I can wait for your answer. You don't have to answer me until you're sure of what you want," Joshua explained, calmly. He took one of her hands in his and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. Rachel couldn't speak, she simply nodded.

Joshua shut the box and placed it back in the drawer in his nightstand. Then he climbed back into bed and closed his eyes. Rachel lay there in the dark room waiting for sleep to take over, but her mind was swirling with thoughts. She stayed like that all night.

…..

A few weeks had passed since Joshua's proposal, and Rachel still hadn't given him an answer. She simply couldn't let go of Ross.

Rachel hadn't even seen Ross since they had last talked. In fact she hadn't talked to any of her friends over the past few weeks.

Rachel didn't know why she was avoiding them, they could probably help. It was just that every time she was near her friends she couldn't stop being reminded of Ross, and that was more than she could handle at the moment. Rachel wanted to sort this out on her own, but her mind kept running in circles.

If she said no to Joshua she would try to make things work with Ross. But what if she could never forgive him, she would be hurt again. If she said yes to Joshua she would most likely lose Ross, which would also hurt her. Either way she would be, as she had once said before, getting clobbered.

Rachel realized she was being ridiculous; she needed her friends, why was she staying away from them? She decided before work one day to stop by Monica's apartment.

She walked up the familiar stairs and knocked on the door to apartment 20. After a few seconds it was violently pulled open.

"For the last time Joey I'm not going to make you- Oh Rachel! I'm so sorry!" Monica apologised as she pulled her friend into a tight hug. "Where have you been?" she asked against Rachel's shoulder.

"I've been dealing with my problems by myself, but it's not working," Rachel said as she pulled out of the hug to look at her friend. "I hope you're not mad at me."

"We're not mad at you," Monica said as she smiled softly. Phoebe appeared in the doorway from behind her. Phoebe said nothing as she joined in on the hug.

"Come with us, we're going to talk," Phoebe said. The three girls walked into the apartment and sat at the table. Then Rachel began the conversation.

"I guess I should have told you sooner but, Joshua proposed to me a little while ago," Rachel began, timidly. Monica and Phoebe's expressions went from calm to surprise.

"Oh my gosh," The two girls coursed.

"What did you say?" Phoebe asked.

"Actually, I didn't give him and answer. I'm still deciding, and that is what I'm having trouble with. I can't make up my mind," Rachel explained, frustrated. "It doesn't feel right. I don't love Joshua enough, but if we had some time I could learn to love him," Rachel explained.

Phoebe wanted to hit Rachel right then. How could she be so blind? Didn't she see that the only guy for her was Ross?

"Rachel if you feel that way, then why be with him at all?" Phoebe asked. Rachel looked at her hands trying to come up with something to say, but she noticed her watch instead.

"Oh, I'm going to be late for work. I'll talk to you later," Rachel exclaimed as she stood up. The other two women nodded and Rachel was out the door. Phoebe turned to Monica as Rachel shut the door behind her.

"This whole situation is crazy! Why can't Ross and Rachel see that they are the only one's meant to be together? I'm tired of them being apart, they need to get together again," Phoebe explained, raising her voice with irritation. At that moment Chandler and Joey walked in.

"Who are meant to be together?" Chandler asked as he and Joey overheard the last bit of the conversation. Joey immediately sat down at the kitchen table next to Phoebe.

"Ross and Rachel," Monica responded as if it were an obvious answer.

"They are perfect for each other. And I have to tell you guys that while Rachel and Ross were with Joshua and Emily they were still in love with each other. I could see it in their eyes. After Ross talked to Rachel in the hall on the night of Emily's fake party, he had a jealous look in his eyes when Rachel went into the apartment with Joshua.

For Rachel it was when she was getting ready for her date with Ross. She was so nervous; it was like getting her ready for her first date with him. I kept rooting for them to get together, but I guess they're having a harder time than I thought," Phoebe explained. The rest of them sat there in astonishment.

"You knew all that and you didn't tell me?" Monica asked a little angry.

"I thought you knew!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Anyways, we have to find a way to get them together."

"We can't do that. That's for them to decide on their own," Joey protested.

"No, I think Phoebe's right. In all the years I've known Ross I've only seen him truly happy when he's been with Rachel. He was never even close to happy with Carol or Emily," Chandler explained, as he made his way to stand behind Phoebe's chair.

"You're right!" Joey said, excitedly noticing it too.

"But what can we do? We can't interfere too much. Plus I haven't seen Ross in weeks," Monica said as she began to pace across the kitchen floor.

"Leave the plan to me. I have an idea," Phoebe answered confidently. She knew this had to work, her lobsters needed to be together again.

…..

After Rachel's work was finished Phoebe and Monica went over to her apartment. They knocked on the door when they got there; Rachel soon opened it. Rachel saw sadness written across her friends' faces, even more than sadness: depression, misery.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked, concerned.

"It's Ross… He's m-missing," Monica said.

"He left this," Phoebe said holding out a piece of lined paper. Rachel took it and read it.

_To whoever finds this note,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave, but the pain of losing Rachel has just gotten too unbearable._

_It's better for her to stay with Joshua anyways, he will never hurt he like I did._

_I wish everyone the best._

_Love always,_

_Ross_

Rachel looked up at her friends. She knew exactly what she had to do. She handed the note back to Phoebe.

"I have to find him. He can't leave," Rachel said, her voice filled with emotion.

"We'll start looking too. Why don't you go to his apartment? We'll start at Central Perk and the neighborhood," Phoebe said. Rachel nodded before she hurried past them, towards the staircase. As soon as Rachel was out of sight Monica pulled out her walkie-talkie.

"Rachel's on her way," Monica announced into it.

…..

Meanwhile Joey and Chandler had gone to Ross' apartment. They had told Monica that Ross was home before the two women knocked on Rachel's door, otherwise this whole thing wouldn't work out.

Joey and Chandler had made it seem like they were there to talk to Ross. After they were invited in Chandler stuck to the plan and made his way to the bathroom, to wait for the okay from Monica.

Soon Monica's voice came over his walkie-talkie. She said Rachel was on her way. That was Chandler's cue to return to Ross and Joey.

"Are you okay, man?" Joey had just asked Ross. They were both sitting on Ross' couch. Chandler walked into the room and sat on the arm of the couch.

"No I'm not okay. I miss her, but I can't be with her again," Ross said, before putting his head in his hands.

"Don't you think you should talk to Rachel though?" Joey asked. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, Rachel came knocking on the door right at that moment.

"I'll get it," said Chandler as he leapt up from his seat. As soon as he opened the door, and they saw Rachel standing there, Joey stood up. He gave Ross a pat on the shoulder before heading for the door too.

"You're welcome," Chandler whispered to Rachel, before leaving with Joey. They closed the door behind Rachel.

Rachel stood in the entrance way for a second, taking in what had just happened. Her friends had set her up; they had planned this whole thing. But, on the bright side, at least Ross wasn't missing.

Rachel walked further into the apartment, it was silent. Neither of them knew what to say.

…..

Meanwhile the four friends were on the other side of the door. Monica and Phoebe had recently joined the guys. Now they were eaves dropping, much like they did when Ross and Rachel were breaking up. Only this time they were confident their two friends would sort things out.

…..

"Our friends set us up," Rachel pointed out.

"I guess they really want us to talk," Ross said, with a chuckle. Rachel decided it had been silent long enough, and she had a lot to get off her chest. She was ready to be truthful with him.

"I have been thinking about all of this and… I want to try and make things work," Rachel said, avoiding his eyes.

Ross stood up from the couch and strode across the distance between them to stand in front of her.

"I can't let you end things with Joshua for me. He loves you and you love him. You're sleeping with each other…" Ross trailed off, knowing this was the right thing to do.

Rachel opened her mouth to say something, but Ross put a finger to her lips.

"Please let me finish," Ross pleaded, Rachel nodded. Ross removed his finger from her mouth. "Emily cheating on me made me realize how much being cheated on must have hurt you. I mean I wasn't in love with her and it still hurt, I can't imagine how it would have felt to you. Even if you can find it in your heart to forgive me I won't ever be able to look at you without remembering the pain I caused you. I definitely don't want to see you hurt anymore; you don't deserve to be reminded of it

I'm sorry for taking the letter and I'm sorry for cheating on you. 'We were on a break' does not justify what I did, I just made it up to make myself feel better and to try not to take any blame. I should never have slept with someone else, whether we were on a break or not. I ruined the relationship I'd been dreaming about since the ninth grade, the best relationship I've ever been in," Ross explained, but he ran out of words.

Rachel had tears running down her face and so did Monica and Phoebe, who were still listening from outside the door. Rachel couldn't let Ross take all the blame, though.

"It's not all your fault. I should have never put a job before you. The distance I created between us was what set us up to fail; that, and me not being sensitive about Mark. I should have reassured you in some way that Mark meant nothing to me, but I never proved it to you. Well, actually I should have listened to you about Mark, in the first place. He did do all those things for me because he liked me.

I should have paid more attention to you and we should have discussed our problems instead of taking a break," Rachel said quickly. All the while Ross just gazed at her. Rachel took a breath before continuing.

"I also want you to know that I am sorry that you took the whole pregnancy thing the wrong way because I never wanted to have Joshua's child. I only slept with him because I thought I was moving on. I thought I could forget you, but I can't. For some reason I know we're meant to be with each other," Rachel explained.

Ross looked at her, with tears in his eyes now. He smiled a sweet smile and just shook his head.

"How can I move on when you say stuff like that to me? We just solved the whole 'we were on a break' thing. I don't think I can move on anymore," Ross said. Rachel looked up at him and realized how much they had grown in these last few minutes. They finally realized, in this moment, that they both had a hand in their relationship falling apart, but now they both had a hand in pulling it back together.

Ross took a hesitant step towards Rachel. Rachel couldn't wait any longer. She practically jumped on him. The force of their impact sent them backwards, locked in a passionate kiss. Ross wrapped his hands around her waist, squeezing her into him, while her hands were behind his neck. She held her body as tight to him as was possible; she needed to feel as much of him against her as she could. Their lips moved in perfect rhythm. Soon enough they had to part for air.

Ross moved to kiss her neck, sucking and nibbling at her soft skin. Rachel tilted her head back in pleasure. She sighed softly as Ross' hands slid down her back to her butt. Rachel reacted by pushing herself against him once more.

Ross kissed her along her jaw to the corner of her mouth, until he eventually kissed her lips again. Ross slid his hands up to her back and held her close to him, never wanting the moment to end.

Their hearts were pounding, their breathing quickening with every passing second. This kiss was not just a kiss, it was a reunion.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: There's only going to be one more chapter after this! :(**

**Review?**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>Time seemed to stand still as Ross and Rachel continued their passionate kiss. All the months they had spent apart disappeared; they felt like they had never left each other's arms. This time their relationship would be different, this time they would be together without anyone in the way.<p>

Rachel's knees were weak from this kiss, she was glad to have Ross' arms wrapped around her to keep her standing. She sucked on his bottom lip as she moved her hands from Ross' face to rest on his chest. Ross' hands were on her hips as their kiss became less hungry and a little slower.

They parted for a moment and just kept their foreheads against each other's, keeping their eyes closed. Ross enjoyed feeling her breath against his lips and her hands on his body. He leaned in once more, this time giving her a soft kiss and then pulling away slowly. Rachel reacted by kissing him longer, moving her lips against his.

Rachel gently pushed against his chest; Ross took the hint and backed up as they continued to kiss. The back of Ross' legs eventually hit the couch and, without breaking the kiss, he sat down. He pulled Rachel down with him, keeping his hands on her hips. Rachel straddled Ross' lap with her arms around the back of his neck as their lips parted slightly. Ross tenderly ran his hands down Rachel's hips and then her thighs. Rachel moaned into his open mouth.

They separated once more, this time looking deep into each other's eyes. Rachel's arms were still around the back of his neck and Ross now let go of her with one hand. He gently brushed a strand of hair away from Rachel's face, she smiled at him.

As soon as they were quiet they could hear their four friends' low voices on the other side of the door. They were still there, listening to their every move and every word. Ross and Rachel looked at each other again.

"Maybe we should continue talking," Ross whispered into Rachel's ear.

"Yeah that might be best," Rachel replied with a shy smile, feeling embarrassed about her friends hearing their kissing. Rachel got up off of Ross and sat next to him on the couch. She leaned against him sitting as close to him as possible. She rubbed his knee telling him without words that she was happy about what had just happened.

"I want to let you know that I only dated Emily because I thought you had moved on," Ross admitted.

"I was doing the same with Joshua," Rachel replied, with a laugh.

"You know all this time whenever I saw Joshua holding you close I felt like that should have been me. Or when he told you he loved you I wished that was me, because those words were always mine," Ross explained. He paused before continuing. "Do you love Joshua?" Ross asked timidly. Rachel stopped rubbing his knee and looked up at him.

"No, there's only one man I've ever loved, and I'm looking right at him. I just don't know why it took me so long to realize that you're the only one that makes me happy," Rachel replied, looking into Ross' eyes.

"Then why couldn't you trust me before? What changed your mind?" Ross asked. Rachel took a moment to think.

"I guess I thought you would hurt me again, if we got back together. But I realized that I can't imagine my life without you. So, I knew I'd have to forget about the negative parts of our history and just focus on the good parts," Rachel explained.

Ross took Rachel's hand in his. He looked down at her sitting beside him on the couch.

"Do you want to give our relationship another chance?" Ross asked, softly rubbing the back of Rachel's hand with his thumb.

"Ross I would love to give this relationship another chance. I just need to know that you won't do any more stupid things like being jealous when I'm around other guys or taking my letter," Rachel said.

"I promise I'll be better, if you will do the same," Ross said.

"I will," Rachel answered. "I promise to reassure you that I love you and I want to be with you."

Ross took a deep breath before he spoke again.

"Are you still mad that I took that letter?" Ross asked.

"For a while I was, but I'm not anymore. I guess I now realize that without you reading it you would have never known how I felt, and maybe you would have forgot about me. I didn't have the courage to tell you my feelings. If all of this didn't happen I probably would have tried my best to move on and then been very unhappy without you," Rachel explained.

"I'm still sorry," Ross replied.

"Don't feel sorry anymore because it's done. There are quite a few things that we need to leave in the past. I want this to work so I want to be truthful and tell you one more thing," Rachel said.

Ross stared at Rachel, nervously. "Okay, go ahead."

"Joshua proposed to me," Rachel admitted. Ross' face dropped, and he looked at the ground.

"I didn't know he loved you so much. I feel bad," Ross responded sadly, actually realizing how much this would hurt Joshua.

"Ross. I don't want to be with him, because I don't love him. He will just have to understand," Rachel stated.

"But you have a good relationship with Joshua and I don't know if you should just throw it away for me. We could possibly break up like the last time, and I don't want to break your heart again," Ross explained. "I already lost you once."

"Ross, stop! I don't care about what happened the last time. I love you and I want to make this work. I'm not going to bail on this relationship, I want to fight for it," Rachel argued. Ross smiled as he heard her repeat the words he said to her on the night they broke up. "I'm done pretending I love Joshua because I have to follow my heart which is telling me to make things work with you," Rachel said as tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Okay, okay," Ross said softly, as he pulled her into a hug. Her tears soaked through his shirt. Eventually Rachel pulled away and looked at Ross. Ross gently brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumb.

Ross leaned in and kissed her lovingly on the cheek, tasting her wet, salty tears on his lips. Before he pulled away Rachel caught him in a kiss on the lips.

"I can't live without you anymore. Did you know that our friends pretended you ran away to get me over here?" Rachel whispered, her voice softened by her tears.

"I can't believe they did that," Ross replied, shocked.

"The scariest part was that for that little while I thought you were gone. I thought I had lost you," Rachel chocked out remembering how helpless she had felt.

"I'm sorry they made you feel that way. But I have to say, I'm really glad you came to my apartment," Ross said shyly smiling at her. Rachel returned the smile through her tears. "I promise I won't leave you," Ross said seriously.

"So this is it then? We're going to stay together," Rachel said.

"Yeah, I'm afraid you have no choice. I'm never going to let this relationship slip away again. This is it," Ross promised. Rachel closed the distance between them and kissed him on the lips. She sucked on his bottom lip as he moved a hand to caress her cheek.

All of a sudden the two heard cheers from outside the door. Ross and Rachel were startled and they pulled apart to look at the door.

"Maybe we should go out and see them," Rachel suggested, keeping her face only inches from his.

"Or we can just stay in here and do this," Ross said as he tilted his head to place another kiss on her lips. Rachel let him kiss her for a second and then she grabbed his hand. She stood up from the couch.

"Come on, there will be plenty of time for that later," Rachel said with a wink. Ross followed her and stood up too. They crossed the apartment hand in hand, lacing their fingers together. Ross opened the door to reveal their four friends, who had big smiles on their faces.

Monica and Phoebe were both crying, and soon Rachel joined them too. All the girls hugged as they let their tears of happiness escape their eyes. Meanwhile, the guys exchanged handshakes and congratulated Ross.

Everyone was ecstatic. The group would have never guessed this is how Ross and Rachel would get back together. As it turned out all the couple needed was some time to talk and be truthful about their feelings towards one another.

When the girls stopped hugging Rachel went back to stand by Ross' side. Ross wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

"My lobsters are back together for good!" Phoebe said excitedly as she watched Ross and Rachel.

"We sure are," Rachel responded as she looked up at Ross lovingly.

"Thank you guys for getting us into the same room to make us talk. We wouldn't be back together if it weren't for you," Ross said.

"It was all Phoebe's idea really," Chandler replied. Ross and Rachel just looked at her in amazement.

"Yeah it was. I actually knew all along that you guys still loved each other," Phoebe explained. Rachel mouthed 'thank you' to her.

"I just have one last thing to do. I'll be back shortly," Rachel said, after a brief silence. Ross nodded and let go of her, watching her as she walked down the hall.

…..

Rachel nervously walked into Joshua and her apartment, thankfully he was there. She took a deep breath before walking across the apartment where he was sitting and watching TV. She sat down in a chair that was across from the couch he was sitting on.

"Joshua we need to talk," Rachel said. Joshua, sensing her tone, turned off the TV before turning to face Rachel.

"Is this finally an answer to my proposal?" Joshua asked impatiently. Rachel tried not to look into his eyes; this was going to be harder than she thought it would be.

"Yes this is an answer…" Rachel stated.

"Okay, I'm listening," Joshua replied watching her face.

"I'm sorry Joshua, but I can't accept your proposal," Rachel said. She watched his face drop with disappointment.

"Is it because it's too soon, because we can wait? I think I was rushing things, you know? I was just under the impression that you were upset because you weren't pregnant and I thought maybe you wanted a family," Joshua said, rambling nervously.

"It's not because it's too soon… It's because I'm in love with someone else… I'm sorry," Rachel said truthfully.

"How long have you been in love with him?" Joshua questioned, now in a depressed mood.

"I've loved him before we were dating. I just didn't realize it at first, and then when I did I didn't want to break your heart so I tried to make it work," Rachel explained.

"What made you change your mind now?" Joshua asked.

"I guess it was when I found out he still had feelings for me this whole time," Rachel responded, staring at Joshua. Joshua looked really upset, but Rachel knew she had to do this.

"Can I ask you something Rachel?" Joshua asked, after taking a moment to think.

"Sure," Rachel responded, nervous about what he was going to say.

"Is the guy you're leaving me for, Ross?" Joshua questioned.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" Rachel asked, curiosity filling her voice.

"Well I remembered how you two were when you were together. When you said you found out the guy had loved you this whole time I immediately thought of how when Ross looks at you his eyes brighten up. I had a feeling he still loved you by the way he was acting. When you look at him the same thing happens, I see longing and desire in your expression. It only makes sense," Joshua explained.

"Wow," was all Rachel could say. After a bit of awkward silence Rachel spoke again, "I'm sorry I wasted your time by dating you when I was clearly in love with someone else."

"It wasn't a waste of time. I really enjoyed it," Joshua said.

"Thanks Joshua. Thank you for being so understanding," Rachel said.

"Well I can't say this doesn't hurt but, I wish you all the best. Don't let go of Ross again," Joshua said.

"I won't. And thank you for being there for me to help comfort me when I just needed someone's love at a hard time in my life. I'll come by sometime soon to pick up my things," Rachel said. "And, I'm sorry."

"Rachel, don't be sorry. Now, get out of here and enjoy the rest of the night with Ross," Joshua said. With that Rachel stood up from the chair. She gave Joshua a quick smile and then left.

…..

As Rachel walked back to Ross' apartment, through the streets of New York, she couldn't help but notice the extra bounce in her step. She eventually reached Ross' place and knocked on the door, ready to start their first evening together after a long time.

Ross let Rachel in and they sat together on the couch. He had the biggest smile on his face as he looked at her.

"Hold on a second," Ross said. Before Rachel could respond he stood up and walked swiftly into his bedroom. Rachel starred after him in confusion, craning her neck to try and see him from where she was sitting. She listened as she heard him open a drawer and then shut it once more.

Ross remerged with an object in his hand. When Rachel looked closer she noticed it was a small, black box.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Okay, here's the last chapter. I'm sad to see this story end! :(**

**I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favourited or subscribed to this story (especially DaniRodas, jenanistonfan, Maddy46 and Cybermals)! Your encouragement has been so great!**

**I have a new idea for another story, but I'm going to plan it before I write it so it probably won't be posted for a while. Watch out for it!**

**I hope everyone will leave me off with a final review. I would love it! :)**

**Until next time, enjoy this fluffy final chapter!**

**Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.**

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><p>"What's that?" Rachel asked when she noticed the small box in Ross' hand. He walked to stand in front of her, as she still sat on the couch.<p>

"Follow me," Ross replied, ignoring her question. He took one of her hands and pulled her up off her seat. Ross put the small box into his pocket before he began walking towards the apartment door, her hand still in his.

As they walked down the hallway Ross continued to hold Rachel's hand, leading her. She eagerly followed him staying by his side, curious as to where he was taking her. Walking side by side felt so easy, so natural. Their shoulders or arms would brush every once and a while, sending shivers down Rachel's spine.

As Ross led Rachel up a flight of stairs, she became even more confused. She thought he would lead them down to the lobby of the building, to leave. But after a few more flights of stairs they reached a door. Ross stopped and turned to Rachel.

"Here we are," Ross said. Rachel just stared at him, waiting. Rachel had no clue what this room was and wanted to find out soon. "I want you to put this on," Ross said as he pulled a piece of fabric from his pocket and held the blindfold out in front of her.

"Okay…" Rachel responded slowly, unsure about what he was up to. Ross moved to stand behind her and tied the piece of fabric over her eyes.

Rachel listened as Ross placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the big metal door. Its hinges creaked in protest. Rachel let out a startled gasp as she felt a rush of cool air against her face. Ross took her hand and guided her forward, slowly. Rachel heard the noises of traffic and realized they were outside.

"Hold on a second, I'll be right back," Ross said.

"What?" Rachel protested, nervously. She then felt Ross remove his hand from her grasp. Rachel stood in place unsure what to do.

A few seconds after Ross left, Rachel heard a click and then the door close with a thud. Suddenly Ross returned and Rachel felt his hands on her shoulders. Rachel flinched when she felt his soft lips against hers.

"Sorry," Ross said when he felt her jump. "I couldn't help myself."

"That's fine. Can I take this off now," Rachel said pointing to her blindfold.

"Yeah, you can take off the blindfold," Ross said to Rachel. She did as she was told and pulled the blindfold off the top of her head.

Rachel stood there for a few moments in awe. He had led them onto the rooftop. There were millions of stars filling the night sky, and a breathtaking 360 degree view of the beautiful city lights. Rachel saw the city lit up every night, but never had it looked so spectacular.

Rachel noticed the many strings of lights that were suspended overhead, along with quite a few white, circular paper lanterns that hung amongst the lights. The whole roof was illuminated with a soft, dim glow. Rachel stood in the middle of the roof in surprise and amazement; she couldn't believe he had done all this for her.

After a little while Ross walked over to her and hugged her from behind. Rachel spun around in his arms to face him.

"Ross this is incredible," Rachel cooed. "What's the occasion?" She asked.

"We've been apart so long. I wanted a romantic spot to take you," Ross replied.

"Well, thank you, this is really beautiful. Only, how did you know I would return?" Rachel questioned.

"I just had a feeling," Ross replied.

"So, you did all this while I was gone?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, but I didn't do it all on my own. Our friends helped me. Then I sent them home so we could have some privacy. I also talked to the super and he's going to make sure this roof is reserved for only our use this evening," Ross explained.

"Wow, you really know how to spoil me," Rachel replied, with a giggle. Ross loved the sound of her laugh; he had really missed hearing it.

"I also have a bottle of wine and a radio to listen to, what do you want to do first?" Ross asked, as he pointed to a radio sitting on a small table with a bottle of wine and two glasses beside it.

"Let's dance," Rachel said. With that, Ross let go of her and walked the short distance to the radio. He turned it on and the soft beat of 'With Or Without You' filled the air. Ross smiled at Rachel over the coincidence that their song would be on that exact radio station.

Ross strolled back to Rachel. He placed a hand on her waist and held one of her hands as she placed her free hand on his shoulder. They looked into each other's eyes as they began to sway gently to the music.

"You look beautiful," Ross complimented, out of the blue. His kind words brought tears to Rachel's eyes. Never could another man make her feel so loved with so few words. Ross had a way of being so sincere when he spoke to her.

Rachel wanted to say something back but she didn't trust her voice right then. She responded by letting go of his hand and wrapping both her arms around the back of his neck. She placed her head against his chest as Ross hugged her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. Rachel listened to Ross' heartbeat as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment.

They didn't even notice the songs changing as they continued to dance; they were only focused on each other. Eventually a DJ came on the station and Ross and Rachel were pulled from their trance.

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Ross asked.

"Sure," Rachel said. The couple stepped apart, but Ross still kept a hand on her waist. They walked over to the table. Rachel looked across the ground and noticed Ross had laid out a few blankets and pillows for them to sit on. Rachel laughed to herself, she hadn't even noticed them. She was too distracted by everything else.

Ross let go of Rachel in order to grab the bottle of wine, a corkscrew and the two glasses off the table. He gave one glass to Rachel before they sat down on the blankets. Ross used the corkscrew to open the bottle, pulling the cork off with a pop. He poured the wine into Rachel's glass and then his own, and then he placed the bottle on the ground.

"Cheers to a new beginning," Ross said, holding out his glass. Rachel clinked her glass against his and they both took a sip. For a few minutes they just enjoyed each other's company as they stared at the city around them, sipping their drinks.

As they looked up at the stars that filled the sky they remembered their first date in the planetarium. That place meant so much to them. It was the place where their relationship truly began, and tonight was almost the same. A new beginning, under the stars.

Then a question came to Rachel's mind, from earlier in the evening.

"You never answered me about what that box from your room was," Rachel said. Ross put down his glass of wine and then reached into his pocket, pulling the box out.

"It's my grandmother's engagement ring," Ross replied. Rachel let his words sink in before her eyes widened.

"W-why do you have it?" Rachel stuttered, as she put down her glass beside his.

"When I was dating Emily my mom gave it to me to propose to her. She thought if I was engaged to Emily she would move here and then she wouldn't have to leave me anymore. But, I visualized what it would be like to ask Emily to marry me and it just didn't feel right," Ross explained.

"I guess you felt the same way I did when Joshua proposed to me," Rachel said. "Why did you bring it out here?" Rachel asked.

"I have to confess that I didn't do all this only because I wanted a romantic night with you," Ross admitted as he gestured to the rooftop. "I planned this and grabbed this ring to tell you that I don't expect to get engaged at this moment, but I did want a nice way to ask you if you will consider getting engaged in the future. If we're getting back together it would be a waste of time if you can't trust me enough to see a future with me," Ross explained.

Rachel's heart began to pound. She looked away for a moment as she made a decision. Her choice made tears fall from her eyes.

"Please say something," Ross whispered, as he watched her sad expression.

Rachel couldn't find her voice, but she looked at the ground and shook her head side to side. Ross' heart sunk in his chest, was she saying no? He looked down at the small box in his hands trying to hold back his own tears; he was completely heart-broken.

Rachel watched his reaction and quickly put her hand under his chin. She gently turned his face so he would look at her. His expression reminded her of their break up, his eyes were glassy with tears and his expression was hurt.

"Ross, I don't want to be engaged in the future... I want to be engaged now," Rachel said through her tears.

"Wow… Rach. Uh, don't get me wrong I'm happy we're back together, but don't you think that's taking it too fast?" Ross asked, taking her hand in his.

"I think it is fast but I have this feeling that things will all work out this time," Rachel explained as she rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb.

"How do you know that?" Ross questioned.

"I think that being in other relationships has helped us to understand that we can't be apart. I mean, even when I was mad at you, in the back of my mind I knew I was still in love with you. Remember when I said in my letter that I found myself comparing Joshua to you, I really meant it. I couldn't move on, and that's how I know things will work out because you're the only one for me," Rachel explained.

"I love you," Ross responded.

"I love you too," Rachel said back to him. Ross leaned towards her and gave her a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. Then he quickly pulled away and stood up.

"May as well make it official," Ross said, as he held out his hand to Rachel. He helped her stand up in front of him. He paused a moment to take a deep breath and think about what he would say. Then he dropped to one knee.

"Rachel, when I first met you I didn't know how big of an impact you would make on my life. What started out as a crush turned into the best relationship I've ever been in.

I was devastated to have our relationship end because of my jealousy. I was only acting like that because I was afraid I would lose you, and I knew I wouldn't be able to live without you. When we did break up I thought I could move on, but I couldn't get over you. I ended up trying to fix my broken heart, but no one could replace you.

I will continue to thank you every day of my life for finding it in your heart to forgive me. Being back together with you is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. And hearing you say that you know we will be together is the glue that has finally fixed my broken heart.

You once said to me that plans change, and now I finally realize the true use for that phrase. We planned on trying to move on but changed our minds when we realized we couldn't be apart.

I want to spend the rest of my life with the only woman I've ever truly loved. The woman who makes my heart skip a beat when I look at her. The woman who makes me wake up every day with a smile on my face knowing how blessed I am to be with her. The woman who makes me happy when I'm sad, and calm when I'm nervous. The woman who makes me realize what love truly is.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you… Rachel will you marry me?"

Ross opened the small box to reveal the most beautiful ring Rachel had ever seen. Tears rolled down her face.

"Yes," Rachel chocked out in a sob. She waited for Ross to stand up before she practically threw herself into his arms. As they collided she kissed him on the lips in joy. Ross wrapped one arm around her to squeeze her against his chest, while the other still held the ring.

Rachel just hugged him when they stopped for air. Ross figured it was the perfect moment to make everything completely official as he took Rachel's left hand in his. He removed the ring from its box and then gently slid it onto her ring finger. Rachel admired her hand watching the ring sparkle in even that dim light. Then she smiled before pulling Ross' face towards hers to kiss him again.

As they stood there, enjoying their first kiss as an engaged couple, Ross felt a raindrop hit his head. It had suddenly begun to rain.

Ross and Rachel stopped to look up at the clouds they hadn't noticed blow in. Ross continued to look up but Rachel stood on her tip toes to kiss Ross' lips. They were soon continuing to move their lips in perfect harmony. Then Ross lifted her off her feet and Rachel responded by wrapping her legs around his waist.

Ross and Rachel didn't stop kissing; they didn't let the pouring rain ruin their moment. The moment their lives remained together for good. The moment no one was in the way of them being together. The first moment of forever.


End file.
